Today’s post is very personal, so if you don’t like that sort of thing, feel free to skip it.
In my red velvet pancake post, last week, I brought up heart health and how it’s important to take care of one’s heart. What I didn’t mention was:
I once took my own heart for granted.
Awhile back, I wrote a post about my weight and diet.
The post briefly referred to a time when I overdid it on the running while simultaneously—and accidentally–underdoing it on the eating. But I never elaborated much on what happened. Since I’m trying to be more personal on the blog, I thought I should tell more of the story, especially so none of you ever take your hearts for granted like I did:
It was in high school. I was big into athletics, playing both varsity soccer and tennis. As soon as I started running, I was hooked on that too.
But nobody remembered to tell me just how many calories athletes burn.
At this time in my life, I knew nothing about nutrition, was always running from one activity to another, and would eat whatever I could get my hands on when I had a rare free moment…
Of course, I’d also *just* switched to a vegan diet, which meant I was inadvertently taking in fewer calories simply because I’d fill up on bulky foods.
I didn’t realize I was losing weight—weight I couldn’t afford to lose—until people started taking my mom aside and asking if I was okay. She hadn’t noticed either; when you see someone every day, it’s hard to notice a gradual change. She appeased their fears by answering, “Oh, Katie’s just like I was as a kid: always eating, never gaining an ounce. Who knows where it all goes?!” But as more and more people continued to approach her, we had to face facts: something wasn’t right.
We booked an appointment with the pediatrician, who confirmed I’d lost a lot of weight. But then she also told me something else: My heart rate was extremely low, as was my blood pressure. I’d never heard the words bradycardia or hypotension before, but just the mention of such grandiose medical terms terrified me. (I think, if I remember correctly, my resting heart rate was 42 bpm.) The pediatrician referred me to a cardiologist.
That week between doctor visits was the scariest of my life. Imagine having to go about your daily routine, focusing on fractions and friends, worried all the while that you might have a dangerous heart defect. Obviously, I wasn’t running at this point; in fact, I was afraid to move at all. I was even afraid to go to sleep at night!
Finally, the day of the cardiology appointment arrived. After performing an EKG, they stuck a bunch of stickers on me, squirted some freezing-cold blue gel on a probe, and rubbed the gel around my stomach for half an hour. Then, after what seemed like hours of waiting (because I was so nervous), the cardiologist came in.
Turns out my low heart rate wasn’t a problem. (Athletes often have heart rates in the 40s. Even now, mine is usually in the low 50s.) But the doctor did advise me to gain back the weight I’d lost before I started running again; I’d been feeling sluggish and dizzy, and my low blood pressure #s were troublesome.
Happy ending: I took their advice, got healthy, and when I came in for my follow-up, six months later, the doctor told me I could even run a marathon if I so desired. (Thanks anyway, doc. I did not so desire.)
The reason I’ve never shared this before with is because I was embarrassed to admit how I took my health for granted and risked doing serious damage simply due to lack of proper care of my body. But I’m smarter for it– if I feel like something isn’t right, I won’t ever ignore it again like I did with the dizziness, sluggishness, and friends’ voiced concerns in high school.
My body is amazing, and that’s why I honor it every single day: with healthy foods (but only if they’re also delicious), with enjoyable exercise, and–above all–with plenty of good-quality rest.
Edit: Yes, I know there are a lot of disgusting rumors circulating about me online. For my own sanity, I’ve blocked some of the worst gossip sites so I can’t look at what the trolls are saying anymore. The rumors I saw in the past were either half-truths or (more often) full-blown, hurtful, and seriously ridiculous lies made up by people who have never even met me. There’s not a way to edit the stuff said on other sites—and it’s a free country so people have a right to say what they want. But please remember to consider the source when you read something. Anyone can say anything online, but that doesn’t make it true. If you’re ever wondering about something, just ask. I’m not trying to be devious or hide anything in my life.
(And yes, I know a lot of people are finding this page because Google decided to give out “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder” as suggested search terms. Unfortunately I can’t do anything about that either; it’s self-perpetuating. People are always going to click on it out of curiosity.)
I never even knew Google gave out those search names until I read this post and looked into it myself. I was absolutely APPALLED at the comments and judgements people online have made. I was so infuriated I wanted to go through my computer screen. These people know nothing about you and yet saying all these hurtful comments. Katie, in my opinion, I think it comes down to jealousy….you have an extremely successful blog. You’re a pretty girl! But use your “haters” as motivators! For every 1 negative comment you get like 30 positive ones! So never let that get you down. Those nasty people don’t matter anyway.
I just stumbled on your website today and I love it. It doesn’t seem like you really had anorexia, but a health scare that you were wise enough to heed. You are healthy now and you have a great blog, helping others be healthy. It seems that the gossipers are probably jealous!
It can be hard to admit somethibg, but it can help for the better!! We’re all embarassed about somethibg in our life, but it’s okay to tell someone about it!! You may have just given the courage to do so!! 🙂 😉
Hi I’m a 15 yr old girl and am currently going through something very similar. I am underweight and run cross country and have been getting chest tightness and feeling weak and tired. I just had an EKG done which was normal, but my heartrate is only 44 BPM and I’m really scared. I’m seeing a cardiologist next week but I’m so scared going to die. How did you manage to get through that week of not knowing?
*Hugs*
Oh my, it was so long ago… but just be sure not to run AT ALL if the doctor told you not to. Just follow your doctor’s orders to the letter, and if you are scared, call up your doctor for reassurance that you’ll be okay as long as you really do listen to what he or she says 🙂
I’m 15 as well and run cross country as well….the season is over now. I’m in the hospital right now, after being admitted. I lost my weight intentionally and had a 33 BPM heart rate when they admitted me. Now I’m “recovering” and they are saying I can’t run when I leave here and I’m having a REALly hard time with this…running is what makes me not a waste of space…and even being quote “low weight” I don’t look all that thin and really don’t want to gain weight back and especially stop running because I NEED to be fast for next season…when you took a break from running did it kill your speed too? I don’t really care how slow my heart goes…I just need to run…thanks so much.
I love you, Katie!!! You are so strong and am my hero- I am struggling with weight gain and you keep me going. I love you. Thank you so, so much. Xoxo =)
Katie, I have been following you about 6 months, have fallen in love with your recopies and have just been reading more about you as a person. Your recopies have been so helpful for me as I was recently diagnosed with Celiac, and as I enjoy making yummy food healthy. Not only that, these recent blogs regarding weight, running, rumors, and life have been especially helpful for me as I have grown up around eating disorders, but have strived to be healthy properly-and with the Lord’s help. It is still a constant mind battle, as kids watch and learn from their environment, but I know I will succeed. I truly do appreciate that woman can eat yummy yummy food, enjoy life, love exercise and help people. I too am a runner, have run some halves and a marathon. With the last year of all my health stuff and Celiac disease I haven’t been able to run-but I am slowly getting back into it and can’t wait for my next race, whenever that can be. It really sounds like you are an honest person-I appreciate that.
I had a school doctor send me to a cardiologist once. She thought I had a heart murmur, but the cardiologist looked and me and said, “Honey, you’re just skinny and flat-chested. That sound is the blood pumping through your veins.”
Ah…those awkward, gangly teenage years. Glad you caught it, Katie, and that it all turned out ok for you!
I really appreciate this post. I’m in my senior year of high school and have always been on the lower end of weight as well. I’ve done track, marching band, and I like to go for runs when I have the time. I finally became a vegetarian this year and I also decided to eat a lot healthier. However, I’m only 5’2″ and my weight dropped from 92 lbs to 83 before I knew it. When I realized I’d been losing weight, I calculated how many calories I was getting in a day and it was under 1000 (as I’m sure you know, not good). I’ve been working on gaining the weight back since. Very few people are sympathetic to me because they think gaining weight is no problem but it’s been really difficult. Meanwhile I’ve also had to deal with the lack of support from my family in my decision to be a vegetarian. I’m now up to the 87-88 lb range and I’m working my way back up. Reading your post really meant a lot to me because I’ve felt ashamed thinking I’m the only person that could have done something like this. I just want to say I love your website and perusing through the numerous recipes is one of my favorite pastimes. Thank you for everything you do!