Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
I’m sorry you’ve been so judged. It’s ridiculous the amount of time people take to verbally attack others. Most comments stem from a lack of confidence, unfortunately. You’re beautiful without even takin into consideration your physical measurements and weight. Congratulations on your blog and your ability to overcome the massive mountain you did when facing over exercising. You should be really proud of yourself!
This is a fascinating post. Thoughts about Anorexia hadn’t even crossed my mind Katie. I just follow your blog and have never Googled you, there’s no need to, so I hadn’t seen that list of related searches. In fact, when I tried it just now, the list of related searches included ‘mug cake’, ‘black bean brownies’ and ‘banana bread’. Nothing else, honest…!
In my experience, the ‘Anorexic’ charge is often used spitefully by people who have the opposite problem, i.e. eating far too much. My advice is to ignore them as it is their insecurity talking. You can be sure that if I stumbled across any of those posts or comments on the web, I would see those comments for what they were….
You look great to me Katie and I love your blog.
What chocolate covered delights have you got for us next…?
I’m trying to decide whether to post buckeye brownies or nutella frozen yogurt. 🙂
Ooh! I vote buckeye brownies! Those sound delish!
Beautiful post, Katie. So sorry you’ve gotten so much criticism and had to cave to address it, but I think you did it wonderfully. I think it’s awesome that you give the lower-calorie and lower-fat options for your recipes – you are giving your readers what we want! It’s a shame some people can’t appreciate that. I’ve made your recipes many times (sometimes the higher fat/calorie version and sometimes not, I love having the options!!!) and they’re always phenomenal.
I’m sorry that you felt the need to have to justify anything about yourself. It’s none of anyone’s business. So brave of you to put such personal information out into the blogosphere. You are beautiful and I, for one, am thankful for the yummy things on your blog. As long as you are happy, that’s what counts.
I always thought you looked great! You’re thin (a good size thin) and beautiful. When I look at you I am reminded of my fabulous younger years. In high school/right out of high school I weighted 115. I’m 5’9″. I ate McDonalds, Taco Bell, milk shakes etc., and did not work out. Then in my late 20’s I bumped up to 125. It was just my body with a very high metabolism. Now that I’m older I do weigh a little more. I thought people where mean back then. It seems like as the years go by, the meaner people get. It breaks my heart that you have to reach such mean things about you. You’re an amazing person who opens their lives to us and gives us free recipes. You can not please everyone! You can only do the best you can at being yourself. Please don’t change!!! I love your blog. I’ve been following you for 3 years. Hang in there and thank you for all you do! Sending you a virtual hug!
I always thought you looked great! You’re thin (a good size thin) and beautiful. When I look at you I am reminded of my fabulous younger years. In high school/right out of high school I weighted 115. I’m 5’9″. I ate McDonalds, Taco Bell, milk shakes etc., and did not work out. Then in my late 20’s I bumped up to 125. It was just my body with a very high metabolism. Now that I’m older I do weigh a little more. I thought people where mean back then. It seems like as the years go by, the meaner people get. It breaks my heart that you have to read such mean things about you. You’re an amazing person who opens your life to us and gives us free recipes. You can not please everyone! You can only do the best you can at being yourself. Please don’t change!!! I love your blog. I’ve been following you for 3 years. Hang in there and thank you for all you do! Sending you a virtual hug!
Thank you! I was unfortunately the same way in my early twenties. I resorted to eating a lot of junk food to try and gain weight and shut people up. I think some of my success now is due to the running but it also might be just due to getting older!
Katie – you are beautiful with or without curves. I’m so sorry you’ve been judged so harshly…that is unfair and wrong. I don’t know why people do this. Keep up the amazing work! We LOVE your recipes.
Keep doing what you’re doing Katie. You look amazing, healthy and happy. You have a lot to be proud of.
xo
So. Much. Respect.
This post has really inspired me to try to be kinder to my body (and to find and post healthier baking recipes on my blog). Sorry that you have to endure nasty comments about your appearance, but glad to know you take it all in stride…
~Elizabeth
Everyone else has already said everything I wanted to say. Well done for keeping your head up through all that, it couldn’t have been – and still can’t – be easy. It’s a difficult subject and you’ve tackled it really well. Your honesty and attitude towards yourself should be an inspiration to others more than anything else. (Though, the recipes are pretty inspiring also. 😉 )
First off love the hash tag!! I will admit that see in your pics before you stopped running I did think you were too thin. BUT my brother-in-law runs a lot too & I think he’s too thin as well. I also know that maintaing a vegan diet will not put a lot of weight on. People who eat meat/processed foods will always be bigger. I love the PIC of you in the green dress! I’m sorry you get the hateful comments & most ppl would not have the guts to say it face-to-face. Just be yourself and know they’re are more of us that think you’re awesome no matter what!!