Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
The stupidity and cruelty of some people never ceases to amaze me. So many times I catch myself saying (about people like that), “These people have too much time on their hands” and “These people need lives”. I don’t understand how people can read words, on your site, such as ‘healthy’ and ‘I don’t count calories’ and have your life and/or mental health decided for you. It was a great post. And you know what? I’ve always had an extremely soft spot for snails and fat slugs (to the point where I pick them up off the footpath so people don’t step on them). xxx
I’ve kind of always liked slugs too 🙂
Katie – That was powerful, candid, beautifully written, and on a personal level a much needed source of healthy inspiration for me. I’m so grateful you chose to stand up and set a wonderful example for how to handle criticism (and everything else) Sending so much gratitude your way!
-Joanna
I have come to your blog many, many times, especially for healthy desserts. Have noticed your photo and it never occurred to me that anyone would find you either too large or too small. You are a terrific, creative cook and I appreciate the many recipes you share. My son is a cook/kitchen manager in a Pittsburgh restaurant where they have a different vegan meal every Sunday-and I often give him suggestions based on things I see on your blog. You are terrific and creative, appreciated and your size/weight/figure is your own business. You look pretty awesome to me!
Adore you Katie and always have! It’s always sad to me how quickly some are to spread rumors and tear people down. But you’ve ended this post on the exact right point: be you, find happiness, and surround yourself by the people who know he truth and who matter. Everyone else, well scr*w them and they’re likely unhappy themselves.
Katie,
I’m so sorry you had to go through this. This post is honestly shocking to me because i actually read your blog every week, and I just never have thought any of these things. I never once thought you had an eating disorder, or that you were “skinny fat”. That’s insane. You’re beautiful and it’s unfortunate people are jealous of that. I know you don’t, but just don’t listen to any of that stuff. Please. It’s just ridiculous. It makes me so sad how women attack other women. Don’t men attack women enough? Women should be sticking together. You do not need to defend yourself. The real people in your life know the truth. Anyway, just wanted to say you’re a beautiful person inside and out. I love your blog. I’d like this blog to stick to your delicious recipes. Not clearly untrue rumors. <3
Katie, you have always been INSPIRATION to me! I love your recipes, your writing style, your beautiful photographs, your other hobbies (cake decorating, card making etc.) your selflessness (helping out charities and everything) you are such a well-rounded person that I don’t understand why people insist on bringing you down. Your ability to brush them off and even laugh, creates your biggest inspiration to me above all.
Your strength.
Keep up the awesome work! x
I am glad you have stayed true to your authentic self. Don’t wory about the nay sayers. They are in general an untrusting and negative lot. And I could swear there was a previous post on your blog about you trying to gain weight. At any rate, you glow and look wonderful. 🙂
I think what a lot of people who do not eat healthy realize is that most of us are naturally thin or at least will be when we eat healthy. I started eating healthier and I naturally and easily lost weight that I had been trying to loose for years, and I also felt better. I felt better because my brain was not clouded from all those nasty chemicals for the first time in a very long time. I think you are awesome and you better never close down your amazing site. =)
This absolutely breaks my heart that the discussion has come to a point that you have to write a post like this, Katie! Clearly you have a passion for food and a zest for life, only a fool would misconstrue that. I’ve taken so many recipes form your blog-I’ve even turned my family onto the concept of black bean brownies-and I am so thankful I stumbled upon it so long ago. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with not only myself but all of the thousands of readers you have! Though we might not state it outright, we appreciate the recipes and and anecdotes you share from your life. So keep doing you Katie, as long as it makes you happy!!!
It’s unfortunate when women feel the need to feel better by putting other women down. You can’t fix other people’s insecurities. I feel bad that you had to go public to explain something that Isn’t anyone else’s business. Just keep doing what you do so well, and we’ll just keep reading 🙂 btw, you looked beautiful in all the pictures.
Katie, I often google your website because I am bad at remembering exactly what I was looking for. Every time those searches come up I just think, man, people really have trouble finding productive and kind things to do with their days! You are great, your site is great, and “fat slug” is officially my new favorite random swear that it’s ok for my kids to copy.
Haha that is awesome!
What a well written, positive and straightforward post. It’s a shame you even have to address the rumors but you squashed the gossip in such an endearing, professional and graceful way you should keep your head held high and know there are many out there who appreciate you and all you do!
I am sooooooooo glad you did address this. I remember the first time I went to search for your black bean brownies in google and started with chocolate covered Katie in my search and was mortified by what the search engine had the nerve to fill in! I never clicked on it because I knew you. I knew you were a dedicated runner with genetics that favored a smaller size. And heck if it did happen to be the case I have no right to judge, we all have things that we need to accept about ourselves (which in turn helps us accept others) You Rock and I love you for sharing all your time, recipes, funny, serious and heartwarming stories.
Katie, thank you so much for this post!!! Just last year I dropped down to a healthy BMI, but then I didn’t want to stop losing weight. I’ve been struggling to figure out how many calories to eat so that I don’t gain too much weight but enough so that I stay healthy. Your blog is inspiring me to focus on the makeup of the food rather than solely counting the calories. Thank you once again for the healthspiration (Is that a thing? I hope that’s a thing.)!!! You’re seriously gorgeous by the way 🙂
Healthspiration? I love your term!
Wow, I LOVE your blog. It is actually the only blog I frequent. I never knew about these rumors and am shocked that people would say such things to you. I don’t have a clue where they get off thinking those things. I have never gotten an unhealthy vibe from you. Your blog has helped me a lot with my sweet tooth cravings. It gives me a healthy option that I don’t need to feel so guilty about. I recommend you to all of my friends and clients who are looking to make healthier diet and exercise choices. I always tell people you have healthy recipes that actually taste yummy.
No one should be making remarks about your body, period (except maybe for some friendly, general compliments). We women need to stop objectifying each other–men do it to us enough! Thanks for such an honest post, and I’m glad to see you happy! Also, I love love love that green striped dress. 🙂