Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
I hate that you have to even address such foolishness. If anything people should use your site as proof that it’s okay to have dessert regularly because it can be made healthy & not just a bunch of empty calories. Forget the trolls Katie there are lots of people like myself that simply enjoy your recipes. Frankly, your personal struggles are none of my business but if your story can help others I’m all for it. Forget the bs, keep doing your thing girl!!
Katie, You are gorgeous and an inspiration. I can relate because I too have been recently accused of being anorexic by strangers and friends!!! I spent most of my life a size 12, and because of a lifestyle change (clean eating!) I am now a size 2. People are mean, but also I think sometimes they just don’t think before they speak!!! Now if ONE more person tells me that I need to go eat a cheeseburger…… !!!! 😛 Keep the CCK recipes coming, big fan!!
For any one hurtful commentator, there are 10, 20, 100… MANY people who love your website and think you are awesome. 🙂 I personally love how you incorporate healthy sugars and fats in your recipes and cannot wait to get a food processor so that I can try making the garbanzo bean cookie pie.
Hey again
I already commented on this but my dad and I had a HUUUGE conversation last night about how i need to gain weight…etc…I have been trying for a long time but i find it very difficult to eat so much! And also, im scared of putting on weight. (Change freaks me out!). I was wondering, and i know you dont have an eating disorder or anything, but did it scare you a bit when you gained the weight, and do you feel better now? Physically, mentally? I only ask you as i really am inspired by your courage and strength – and as i said to you before, you did show me that a bit more weight on someone can make them look even MORE beautiful (talking about you here, missus!!). I really am scared, but im trying very very hard. What did you find easiest to gain the weight, was there anything high calorie but “easy” to eat for you? Ive seen your “high calorie” recipes and they’re fantastic but i cant bring myself to have half of them! Any advice would be appreciated – or tips that worked for you!!
I hope you’re really proud of yourself – you are an inspiration to be a healthy, strong woman. I want that, now.
Thank you again.
Best wishes
Michelle xx
Hi Michelle! I’m recovered from an eating disorder and I can definitely relate to what you’re going through. Fear of gaining weight can have such a stronghold, even when we desperately want to just get over it! There are no easy answers, but I will tell you that I had a lot of success with these things: (1) take baby steps and be patient with yourself as you make progress—and be proud of the progress you make, even when it’s slow! (2) get lots of support and accountability from healthy people you trust, (3) decide you’re going to act despite being afraid—courage is not the absence of fear, it’s acting in spite of it! (4) focus on the good things about gaining a little weight (e.g. sleeping better, more energy, etc., and finally… (5) stop inundating yourself with messages about being skinny (e.g. toss the fashion/fitness magazines, don’t pore over Pinterest images of “perfect” looking bodies, etc.). Hope this helps! I believe you can do it and remember that it gets easier as you go and one day you’ll look back in amazement at how much you’ve changed and all the freedom you found!
Warm regards 🙂
Cherie
http://www.dare2hopecounseling.com
Honestly I have no idea why people can look at you and say such hurtful things, I think you are beautiful and the elegance beneath this post has proven how your beauty is not just on the surface but comes from within as well. I fell in love with your blog because you get what it means to be healthy on the contrary of the common “fat and carbs are the enemy” and you’re not afraid to admit to indulging yourself once in a while.
Shame how ugly the people in this world can be sometimes, but just now that there are at least thrice as much people supporting you and thinking you’re neither too thin nor too fat 🙂
Great post! Love your blog and recipes. You are talented!
Katie, I’m recovered from an eating disorder and am now an eating disorder therapist…I have to admit, when I first found your website a couple of years ago, I wondered if you might struggle a bit. But honestly, after seeing your recipes, it’s obvious you don’t promote eating disorders. Your recipes are better-for-you alternatives to foods we all love and most of them incorporate healthy fats and moderate amounts of sugar or safer sugar alternatives. Everyone has their own opinion, but in my personal and professional one, I don’t think you promote eating disorders. Thank you for your wonderful recipes and for exhibiting so much honesty and grace regarding this issue, even when others have been cruel.
you go girl. good for you. Keep inspiring 🙂
You are absolutely amazing. So sorry you’ve been subject to rumors, though I suppose it comes with the territory.
Just have to say that your recipes have helped me live a lot healthier! Seriously, your recipes have helped turn my life around. I used to hate breakfast and avoid eating it at all costs, now it’s my favorite meal! You’ve helped me pay more attention to my eating habits and lifestyle. Thank you! I love being able to eat healthy food that TASTE fantastic, which your recipes allow me to do. You are my favorite blog, keep up the good work!
Katie, so glad you wrote this post to address those rumors. It’s incredible what people will say online behind a screen of anonymity. And the way they talk about eating disorders is ridiculous – it’s as if having one is a willful decision to hurt people, when really it’s an awful illness that’s as much a choice as any other! Love your site and will keep returning 🙂
It’s absolutely disgusting that you even had to write this post. You have such a wonderful blog that helps people eat goodies and stay healthy at the same time. It is so sad that you have to endure such abuse when you are only trying to share your passion with others and help people. I’m so glad you love who you are and laugh at some of those asinine comments.
Katie – What do you consider to be too much exercise? How many miles did you run a day/how many hours did you exercise a day? Just curious because people have been telling me that I exercise too much…
I wrote more about it here: https://lett-trim.today/2013/11/20/gave-running/%3C/a%3E%3Cbr /> If you even have any doubts about whether or not you’re exercising too much, chances are you probably are. But only you can decide this for yourself!
I found this blog and it has been such a help to me. I have always been judged for my small size, and people find it fun to make hurtful comments about my weight. But you see, I can’t help being scrawny in comparison… I have a super high metabolism and when nursing I end up needing about 3k calories a day or I lose weight, health and energy. It has always been so hard to get the calories I require without eating junk food all the time. So hard in fact that while nursing my first child, I found myself hating food. I missed eating for pleasure and hated having to focus on calorie counts while trying to still eat healthy. When I found this blog, it was so wonderful to find high calorie foods that 1- taste good, 2- are high calorie and 3- are healthy!! It was an answer to prayer. Thank you, and please don’t stop blogging!
I’m so sorry you went through this. I went through the “junk food” phase when people were making negative comments about my thinness as well, and I completely relate to your hatred of food. People who are jealous we can eat as many brownies as we want don’t always understand that by the third or fourth brownie, it isn’t enjoyable anymore and you just feel sick from eating so much junk food!
You are such an inspiration, if I had only been that wise when I was your age. Instead I had eating diss orders that made me very unhappy. It is wonderful to read your blog and to see how strong you are. I love that you do not ingage in stupid comments. You are a wise women that inspires many people, myself included!
Good for you, you look fantastic. People are jerks online- that anonymity is such a seductive thing for people who hate themselves. I’m sorry that you even felt like you had to address this. You’re gorgeous and have a wonderful blog- so basically, haters gonna hate, right? 🙂
I love this post. Reading your later one where you admit you questioned yourself before publishing (which I totally understand bc I do that tons), I’ve gotta tell you this was a great idea, and you speak so well. So fluidly, confidently, and with clear purpose. A very easy-to-read and profound post. I hope this doesn’t come off as an insult, but I think it’s the deepest (in thought) post you’ve ever put on the blog. I also wanted to say that I really identified with everything you said, bc I used to suffer from chronic exercise obsession and at the time couldn’t imagine living without running everyday, plus a lot on average. At that point in time, I was really skinny (size 0-2; 32-barely-B). Then eventually, when I finally accepted that not only was i too thin (for my body type) but my running routine HAD to tone down (haha) BIG time, I gradually lessened and loosened up my exercise, until I’d relaxed and recovered from my exercise obsession. By that time, when I’d at last fully recovered, I’d gained a little too much (I’d been waiting on weight loss until I’d recovered); so then I lost some weight just enough to be trimmer and mostly focused on making my overall lifestyle healthier and put into proper balance. Additionally I realize that now, I am so much happier than I ever was when obsessed with fitness and constantly exercising. That was soooo incredibly stressful. Back then I used to get comments like: “Wow you’re so thin – that’s amazing how do you do it?!” or “you need to gain weight.” Now they’re: “You’re so cute (since) you’ve gained weight,” and “you look much healthier now,” “you’ve certainly filled out – and that’s a good thing”. So I agree with you.
By the way, you look so much prettier now… being curvier, and bc the stress release shows in your expression. You really look far happier now, and I believe that’s what makes you more beautiful.