Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
Your blog is amazing and the way you look personally should have no “weight” in that. In fact, if you were indeed anorexic people should be more sensitive that you have a disease! I never understood that because, I too have been in your shoes and it hurts that people treat you differently because you look a certain way. I love to eat healthy and was obsessively dancing and taking yoga to manage my stress. I love being active (and still do) but sometimes you have to take a step back and realize why you obsess over your routines. It is scary to break away from them and even scary to put on weight because being thin is also part of your “persona.” People will judge you no matter what, and the problem is we are an overly judgemental society which is where eating disorders stem from! Regardless, you seem very sweet and sincere- happy in your skin , and that shows. If people want to put you down let them because you have more then what they can offer. Thanks for speaking out- you have guts girl!
Thank YOU so much for such a kind comment!
I actually LOVED putting on weight, and a large part of that is because people got off my case. So yes, I completely know what you mean about our judgmental society. I am the same person, and yet people–both men and women–treat me much differently now. It’s really unfortunate that society is so judgmental (and also so focused on appearances).
You are amazing! <3 I love the way you choose to #liveLovingly! You're one of my top fav bloggers! <3 🙂 I love your blogging style and the personality you show! You are such a sweetie Katie! 🙂
Dear Katie,
I heart you. I have only been using your website for a little over a year but I rave about your recipes constantly! That is really all I’ve ever come to this site for. So it’s hard to imagine being so insecure with myself and my life that I simply use a food blog to backwardly boost my own ego temporarily but cutting you out anyone else down. I’m sorry this happened to you, and in such a weird way. Sometimes the world and its people don’t make sense. You just have to keep swimming…
Xo,
Another Chocolate Covered Katie
Total respect for you Katie! 🙂
This is very brave of you to address and I can’t believe how mean some people have been I love ur recipes and have used them to help me recover from an eating disorder so u have helped me and all these people obviously don’t know what they are talking about and have way too much free time
Katie, I absolutely love your blog and I think you are gorgeous both inside and out. 🙂 Don’t ever let any of those negative comments get you down!
This article is beautiful, I love your recipes and have enjoyed them for years. If you are a fat slug then I would consider it a compliment if someone called me that. Your recipes are a talent. So many woman hating each other and harassing and I think it’s silly. Keep making magic in the kitchen 🙂
Katie,
I only just discovered your website yesterday (through the MacroMitch website, which is also fantastic). I am in recovery from anorexia and find that making healthy recipes is helping me to heal so much – when I was at my worst, I would not even entertain the thought of cooking! Your website is brilliant, you are a beautiful person and please keep doing what you’re doing. I could really identify with your post about running too, thankyou for putting it into words so wonderfully. It’s a sad reflection of our society that there are so many misguided people out there.
I am a long time follower of your blog, I have always loved it. Anyway it is amazing that you were able to address this with such poise… you are pretty fantastic. <3
Katie, I have been consulting your blog for years, and I truly appreciate not only your recipes themselves, but how you have taught me to understand the basic elements of dessert-making. I’d always loved to cook meals, but desserts eluded me. lol part of what I love is how simple you make everything while keeping true to all healthful, whole food ingredients. That’s exactly my philosophy, and I, too, love to share with people how that’s all it takes to keep a healthy weight–even with desserts included! There is so much misinformation out there about what to eat/ how much to be thin, that many people believe you can’t possibly eat & be thin.
I can tell from your post that you know better than to succumb to haters’ hate, but also that you do want to send a clear message. Your vulnerability is beautiful, as is your ability to share your journey in a meaningful and uplifting way! Weight management is a personal story, everyone’s is different, and not everyone’s can be seen on the outside as clearly as folks expect.
I acknowledge you for the incredible chef & sunny personality that you are, as I’m sure do the majority of your readers. That’s what CCK is really about. You know how to share personal stuff when it’s relevant, or could potentially be helpful to readers. Beyond that, it belongs to you–none of haters’ business. After all, if you are going through something, isn’t it likely we could be, too?
Keep on keepin’ on! You are important! Your message matters! Your recipes inspire!
You look fabulous! As someone who’s always struggled with their weight, I have to admit it was hard for me to believe you wanted to gain (despite knowing your recipes were healthy but calorie heavy). But then I looked at myself, and realized I had a personal problem of jealousy and a societal problem of judgment. I apologize for judging you, even if it was just in my head. Negative energy is still negativity, and you deserve none of it! You’re a wonderful, compassionate person who shares your abilities with all of us for free. Doesn’t get much better than that. 😀
I’ve been reading your blog off and on for about a year now, I guess, but just stumbled upon this post right now. I can’t, for the life of me, understand why ANYONE would use the words “fat slug” to describe you. That just blows my mind! I’d hate to see what they would say about me since I’m about 30 pounds overweight. Yikes! LOL
As I’ve gotten older I’ve made a point to refrain from judging others, especially women. I’m not always perfect, and have caught myself making snap judgements, but I’m noticing when I do it, and changing my thinking. I remind myself that I know nothing about the person, so how on Earth could I even attempt to judge them? And as I’ve learned some stories of what others have gone through in their lives, I’ve come to appreciate that you just never know what someone is battling. It would be nice if we could start a movement of kindness. In the spirit of that…I think you’re beautiful, inside and out. I hope you’re able to ignore the haters and remember that they are obviously battling some of their own demons. xo
I had actually never read your blog till I googled sugar free marshmellows and I became interested in your blog when I saw on another website a woman who had been saying hateful things about you I thought well this website sounds like the kind of recipes I need so I’m going to it out anyways after searching your blog looking for a substitute for marshmellows in sweet potatoes because my fiance is diabetic I google your website I saw g he links saying you had an eating disorder and obviously I had already seen pictures of you on your blog and thought thats total bs but I wanted to see what people had said about you and now I’m glad I did you have gained a huge fan not because of your cooking or recipes or fame but because of your strength courage and conviction about this Y
You are someone to be admired not bullied or harassed. I’ll be watching for more blog posts and plan in getting my fiance into your blog as well. You keep doing what your doing.
Thank you so much, Casey 🙂
You look fabulous. Seriously. Radiant, fit, happy, and healthy. I have been in the public eye in the past and got comments about being too fat (the camera does add 10 lbs!). I lost some weight a year or so ago and started getting the too thin/eating disorder comments and they sting. I can understand concern that comes from genuine caring, but I’m so sorry people have been gossipy and trollish. You don’t deserve that at all.
As someone who has dealt with some medical dietary restrictions and various food allergies in my family, I am very grateful for your blog. I love how healthy and customizable and DELICIOUS your recipes are. Keep up the good work and I hope the trolls back off!
Katie, you literally helped me get over SO many of my “food phobias” that I had to get over after being hospitalized for a REAL eating disorder!!!! Without your blog I KNOW I wouldn’t have been able to fully recover and get my health back 100%. Everyone in my hometown is whispering about me, “She’s different….”…. Well yes, I am different …. I recovered! No one could eat like you and have an eating disorder… I would know because your recipes have supplemented my meal plans almost every day for a year, and I look SO MUCH BETTER NOW… actually healthy in body AND MIND. Haters are gonna hate, as the saying goes. I’m glad “I”m different now”, and I’m glad you gave up the hardcore exercise. I did too. THREE , NO FOUR CHEERS FOR HEALTHY EATING and moderate exercise 😉 <3
I realize this post was made quite awhile ago, but I’ve recently found my way to your site, and I really feel moved to comment on this post in particular.
Women can’t win, can we? My best friend is naturally very thin like you, and has to put a lot of intention into not losing a dangerous amount of weight when she’s stressed. People are frequently joking about her being “anorexic” and such, and it really bothers her. As her friend, it bothers me, too. What also bothers me is the way in which other women will sometimes think it’s OK to talk to me about it, with the ever-present “she’s so thin, oh my god, don’t you just hate her?” riff. I know this kind of thing is meant as a joke, but it has never sat well with me. No, I don’t hate her. She’s my best friend and we are not in competition. Don’t try to forge a bond with me using the resentment of another woman as the driving force. It’s not cute, it’s toxic.
Personally, I have always struggled with my weight. I’ve been quite overweight most of my life, but I’ve been reasonably healthy and active regardless for a long time. Recently, however, I discovered that I am prediabetic, and it scared me into action. In the past, I have tried some pretty unhealthy approaches to weight loss. I have straddled the line of an eating disorder more than once. For a long time I didn’t weigh myself at all, but instead focused on being kind to myself and worked on getting to a place of self-acceptance. I am so glad that I did, but now I find myself NEEDING to lose weight. It has become a pressing medical necessity that I cannot put off any longer. And shifting gears back to a weight loss focus has been a more emotional experience than I was truly prepared for. But–and this is the point I’ve been gradually building up to–your blog has been an ENORMOUS help. The idea that anyone would see this space as something that fosters and encourages eating disorders is absolutely ridiculous. I found myself looking at pamphlets for managing diabetes, my heart sinking at the idea of putting artificial sweetener and diet margarine into my body. I knew that giving up dessert altogether was just a set-up for me to falter, but I also knew some changes needed to happen. Finding CCK was like seeing the light. So far, this blog has helped me to stay on track, with treats that are low-sugar or sugar-free but genuinely healthy, full of healthy fats and fruit and whole grains and without any artificial crap whatsoever. I’ve been losing weight (15 pounds so far…about another 75 to go, but it’s a start), but most importantly, I haven’t felt like I’ve had to sacrifice any piece of my hard-won self-love to do so. Eating whole grain treats sweetened with bananas and dates and rounded out with peanut butter and avocado and coconut oil and even beans supports a nurturing and self-loving relationship with food. There is never an air of judgment or deprivation on your blog, only one of celebration and indulgence and camaraderie and good health. This blog is really something special, and it’s because you made it that way. Your inherent kindness is palpable (even toward those that are not kind to you), and it’s obvious that you get real joy out of sharing good health and great food with people. Thank you so much for that. It means the world to me already, and I know I’m not alone in that.
Trolls are sad little creatures. This always cheers me up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uz2jbCJXkpA