Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
Its about time someone did a post like this. Well done for addressing this issue and for standing up for yourself. Honestly, you look lovely and you’re perfect the way you are.
Penny xxx
I’ve been a long time reader, and recipe tryer! I’m super proud of you for writing this, not only to put rumors to rest in your own defense, but also to make an important statement that ALL women need to read. Thanks for your honesty. Good for you. Keep on doing what you’re doing, and I hope you enjoy it as much as your readers do!! Your blog is a gift to humanity, no exaggeration. Ok maybe a little. 😉
Wow I love your honesty and openness. Your blog was the first one I discovered when I began looking for gluten-free dessert recipes (without all the crazy ingredients) last year and, in my opinion, the best! I really appreciate that you take the time to test out gluten-free/sugar-free etc versions of your recipes, especially when you don’t have to 🙂 Keep doing what you’re doing <3
Also as a fellow naturally thin woman, I definitely understand how it feels when people assume that you must have eating issues. I used to feel like I needed to somehow “prove” that I eat, which is just ridiculous… Now I just go about my business 🙂
I love your recipes and I applaud you for writing this post! 🙂
You’re not alone, lady! I think people overlook how often slim people get harassed. It’s seen as some kind of justifiable retribution for decades of thinness being a beauty standard. Ridiculous how people overreact in the opposite direction under the guise of promoting women’s self-esteem.
What you say is true- eat as much as you want, but make sure it’s REAL food, not processed junk. So far I’ve made your black bean brownies 4 times & your chocolate eatmores- both got rave reviews, everyone wants the link to your site!
Thank you for making them!
I’m sorry to hear these hurtful things that were said, it seems very backwards to the entire concept of your website. Your recipes are amazing, healthy, and delicious!
I’m sorry to hear these hurtful things were said, it seems very backwards to the entire concept of your website. Your recipes are amazing, healthy and delicious!
Katie, it never even crossed my mind that you might have any kind of problem! You look great, and to me it just reinforcees the value of healthy eating and portion control. I think you hit the nail on the head about people saying things anonymously that they’d never say in person. I teach at a university where the student anonymously evaluate their courses online after each semester. The things they say are amazing, and not in a good way! I do take the comments with a huge grain of salt, but even so, they can be painful. I hope you really are able to shrug them off so easily. Good for you!
This really stuck out to me: “Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.” It is all too true. Plain and simply, women are so, SO mean to one another, and it is incredibly sad. Imagine if those people who thought you were “too skinny” sent you a private message, asking if everything was okay, instead of turning to very public negativity? My wish is that women could begin to build each other up, and see that we are all different and amazing in our own ways, instead of feeling the need to compete and bring others down.
Thank you for addressing all of this and being yourself from Day 1. There are many of us who follow you and are so grateful that you do what you do!
It’s unfortunate that you have had to justify your weight and eating habits to people on the internet. I have been following your blog for a few years now and I have never gotten the impression that were trying to diet or lose weight or stay thin. You have never encouraged any of your readers to do any of that either. Your blog is about healthier desserts and a love of food, nothing more. It’s sad that people feel the need to say such awful things about you and make assumptions about your weight and your health. Keep up the great work! I can’t wait for your cookbook to come out! 🙂
Her cookbook looks like it is already out!
http://m.barnesandnoble.com/w/chocolate-covered-katie-katie-higgins/1119439699?ean=9781455599707
Is not quite out, that’s a pre-order link. It says: Available for Pre-Order
This item will be available on January 06, 2015 – good news though 🙂
Katie,
Katie, I am proud of your courage to address this. Personally, I was unaware of any of those rumors or accusations, but I understand that with “fame” comes a responsibility to address some issues; but you can never or should ever address them all. Since these were obviously as numerous as your post indicated, I think we were right to address.
I had a niece with anorexia (onset at age 13) and over the years it became Bulimia Nervosa; an even more dangerous disorder. She died at age 39. And sadly there are many women who do struggle with eating disorders. So, for all the women, and men, who struggle with these disorders, I think you did the right thing by addressing this issue for their sakes. They need to hear the voice of truth and balance so it can shine into the very dark struggle they are fighting.
I am sorry you have had to endure the remarks you have but thankful to see the good that has come from it in your healthy attitude. As you said, your identity can never be in another, especially a stranger. The sliver lining is the healthy self image you have as a result and being able to let hurtful comments roll off like water off a ducks back. And thank you for being transparent about your running….and I recall you wrote about that a while back too when you stopped. I see you always been transparent and “real”.
Katie, you are beautiful and healthy. I am thankful for your healthy recipes. And I have always seen your comments where you usually opt for the “full fat” ingredients when there are options…like the coconut oil. That has encouraged me to do the same.
We should all strive to be healthy and revel in the beautiful form God has given us. Why would we all want to look alike anyway….how boring. Beauty is far beyond a size or shape. It is the attitude, the outlook, the contentedness of being who you are. And most importantly, how one treats others.
Thank you for your inspiration Katie. For me you have not been an inspiration about size at all, but one of health and exercising the self discipline to make the choices needed to be healthy inside.
From a “young” 44 year old mom trying to be healthy so I can enjoy life and serve God. Aging gracefully and not artificially. 🙂
Lilly