Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
Dear Katie,
I read your post with tears in my eyes. I’m in a different situation than yours but I really identified…
I recently lost a lot of weight because I am ill and, because I was anorexic in my teens (15 years ago), people around me started whispering that I was going through that again.
I am struggling to accept their reactions and find myself being both very angry and sad.
Because I’m a food blogger, people seem to think they’re even more so in the right as a someone who blogs about food MUST have a problem with food.
I did. At 18. I had therapy, put the weight back on and moved on. I am not that person anymore.
Anyway, I just wanted to say I admire you for being brave enough to write this post.
I look forward to reading your next ones and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Love from
Celine
I’ve been a blog reader for a while now, and thought it might be time for my first comment! I also had a very unhealthy relationship with exercise, and for five years of my life struggled with compulsive running and undereating. In times of stress it became worse, and December of last year I was hospitalized because my heart rate was too low. I spent 9 days in the hospital, as doctors told me I was at high risk for an arrhythmia. I was woken up at 2am almost every night as my heart rate monitor beeped in warning as my heart rate dropped too low. They released me on the condition that I continued to gain weight, and eight months later I have gained twenty pounds, go on long walks and do yoga instead of running, and have learned to eat scones, sleep in with my boyfriend, and relax. The scary thing is, we still don’t know if my bones will recover fully, and I have yet to get my period back. I love children more than anything, and know that I am meant to be a mother. If compulsive exercising and not eating enough have taken that away from me, I’ll never forgive myself. My advice to anyone is that perfection in our modern society is driving women towards orthorexia, and skewing our priorities. Remember what is important, our families, friends, loved ones, nature’s beauty, naps, books, and meaningful careers. Not obsessing over our bodies to the point of cutting us out of the world. Thanks for sharing, Katie, and I am so glad you are happier where you’re at!
I am very glad that you addressed this on here. Hopefully it will be seen by people that need to see it.
Though I am struggling yet again with anorexia, I have never used you as “thinspiration” I do believe that you are a great inspiration, especially the more posts I read on here. I love your site and use it as my main source of reliably vegan dessert and breakfast ideas. You are wonderful for having this sight, and I may have given up on being anywhere near healthy much longer ago without your site.
So thank you and keep it up. You are great! 🙂
I just read your blog post about the horrible conspiracies people somehow find the time to come up with. I wanted to write you and tell you how awesome this blog is. I would describe myself as someone with a terrible sweet tooth. If someone is serving cake, I have 2 pieces. In order to do this, and not weigh 200lbs, I exercise frequently. I’ve run multiple half marathons, and I’m a weekend bike racer. Since finding this blog, I’ve been amazed at how well the “healthy” dessert options taste like the real thing. I make the chickpea cookie and black bean brownie recipes for recovery days, because they’re delicious and healthy. Also, with all the research coming out about how terrible sugar is, I’m thrilled to have healthy alternatives that use healthy sugar replacements instead of unnatural sugar substitutes. I know I’m healthier since finding this blog. And also, you’re beautiful. With so much negativity in the world, I don’t understand why people feel the need to spread it. So in an effort to spread some positivity, I love this blog. I love this blog because I love food, and because these recipes are phenomenal.
Felt the need to comment for the first time on your blog. You are beautiful Katie! Keep doing what you do, and keep allowing positivity and humor to rock all of your posts. You’re super and so are your recipes!
I’m so sorry for the rude people. I appreciate your site more than I can say. Your posts are inspirational. You have encouraged me to get creative with my recipes. Recently married and moved, I now bake and cook way more than I had single.
These recipes give me new creations to make. I love your photography too, and the out takes are wonderful. I appreciate you and your blog just the way you/it are/is.
Thank you for not selling out to corporations and being a spokesperson for them.
Sweet Katie, I have been following your blog now for two years. I found you when my son was fighting cancer and I was trying to find healthy alternatives to our baked treats. I googled “sugar-free powdered sugar” and found you! Your blog has been a great source of inspiration to me as I continue to turn my love for baking into a healthier habit! I can’t tell you how many people I’ve recommended your blog to. You are a beautiful woman, and I appreciate your honesty. If you find yourself in Hagerstown, stop by 🙂
Thank you so much. It means the world to me that you’re telling others. Can’t even tell you how much that means to me.
Katie – thanks for the honest post…unfortunately criticism is part of what happens when you are ‘out there’ in the internet world….remember that when people are triggered by something about you (and if they are throwing criticism, they are doing that because they are triggered)- it is ABSOLUTELY about THEM. There are NO exceptions to that. You handled this lovingly and gracefully.
Katie,
I follow you on Pintrest for your amazing recipes. I had no idea that this had been an issue for you. I greatly appreciate your openness. I am also amazed that women (and men) are so quickly able to judge people that they do not know & feel fine saying things that they never would to your face, in a post!
BRAVA, BRAVA, BRAVA! Thank you for speaking out and addressing this issue. It is past time we women supported each other by getting our minds off body type and concentrating instead on healthy eating and lifestyle. I gained an enormous amount of weight after chemotherapy even though I eat only whole foods and I exercise every day. Does this make me a fat slob?
I love your web site, the real ingredients you use and how you promote healthy dessert choices. Keep up the good work of promoting healthy eating!