Addressing the elephant in the room.
It’s not something I ever wanted to address; the subject of eating disorders has nothing to do with my website nor what I stand for, which is why I’ve let the rumors go unchallenged for so long.
But readers have recently been leaving an even higher number of weight-related comments than usual, now calling me both too thin and too fat. (I’ve even been called pregnant and anorexic in the same post.)
As I know girls are using photos of me for “thinspiration” and citing my blog as a reason it’s okay to eat 100 calories a day and starve down to 70 pounds…
I feel addressing it at this point is the right thing to do.
If you’ve ever googled “chocolate covered katie,” you’ve probably seen the search engine’s lovely (I say this facetiously) list of related searches, which includes “chocolate covered katie anorexic” and “chocolate covered katie eating disorder.”
It’s self-perpetuating: curiosity will cause people to click on the terms, and therefore the suggested searches will most likely never disappear.
Although I don’t have an eating disorder and have always eaten well, I did have an unhealthy relationship with exercise in the past that took a toll on both my appearance and mental health.
While I’d thought I was happy during those years and was technically healthy—with normal lab work and a good relationship with food—the over-exercising was sabotaging my efforts to gain the curves I desired. I wouldn’t allow myself to entertain the possibility my running routine could be partially responsible for my inability to gain weight.
When I finally did make the choice to give up running (that story is linked above), I gained about 10-15 pounds quickly, easily, and happily. Imagine discovering, almost overnight, that you suddenly have the body you’d always wanted.
Looking back, I wonder why I didn’t realize sooner the extreme exercise was not the healthiest thing for me: it had become a source of stress in my life and was draining me of energy, which was manifest in my appearance.
I am a million and a half times happier now, and it shows.
It’s difficult to make guesses about a person’s life simply by looking at a photograph or by judging his or her online persona.
No, my life is not all about food; and yes, I occasionally do indulge in “unhealthy” meals and desserts. I just don’t post about these occasions because it isn’t relevant to the theme of my website.
Hateful things are written on the internet under a cloak of anonymity, and it’s unfortunately women putting down other women all too often, writing words they would never feel comfortable saying in real life.
In my years of blogging, I’ve been called everything from “skeleton” to “fat slug” to “anorexic with a boob job” (neither of which is true; but even if they were, would it mean someone had any less worth as a human being?). The comments eventually forced me to realize my self worth needs to come from something other than the opinion of a stranger on the internet.
The routineness with which I receive these acrimonious messages has at least given me the ability to shrug them off.
Although… when I saw the “fat slug” comment, I could not stop laughing.
I completely stopped reading the internet rumors and conspiracy theories about myself a long time ago, even if that means letting some false claims about my life go unchallenged. While I could defend myself against the rumors, doing so would become a full-time job, and I’d rather focus my time elsewhere.
The people who know me in real life are easily able to tell the truth, which is all that matters.
However, the one thing I feel I do need to clear up is that anyone who tells you my blog promotes eating disorders is grossly mistaken. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The Chocolate Covered Recipes have healthy fats, whole grains, and real-food (non-artificial) ingredients, and you’ll never find me promoting dangerous cleanses, calorie restriction, or touting any one food as a “miracle” cure.
I’ve turned down so many high-paying offers from companies to promote such things on the blog.
In consideration of the readers with a medical need, lower-calorie and sugar-free options are included in my posts when available. But the recipes are not specifically “diet” choices; just healthier choices, and you can choose the ingredient options that suit your own personal needs.
I go further into detail on this topic in my Chocolate Covered Katie FAQ Page.
Please, the next time you read any kind of gossip online, take a moment to consider the source before believing it as fact. And if you ever come across something written about me that you don’t understand, please always feel free to ask.
I’m one of the most candid and open people you could ever meet, and I don’t get embarrassed easily. If a stranger really wanted to know everything about my life, I’d have no problem leaving in every detail.
At the risk of sounding clichéd… all of the stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life have made me who I am today, and I’m not embarrassed about a single one.
If you want to use me as thinspiration, keep in mind that the thinspiration you are using is a healthy woman who eats a balanced diet heavy in calories, healthy fats, and carbs.
I’d hope that what people can get out of my blog is the message it’s important to treat your body kindly; to nourish it with real-food ingredients; to truly enjoy the foods you are eating; and to take in enough calories for the strength and energy to live your best life possible.
No crash dieting. No cutting out food groups. No starving. Please take good care of yourselves. ♥
I also wanted to write this post because I know there are many other girls out there (and guys too) who receive similar online comments. To anyone who might need to hear it, please do not take any of the messages you receive to heart.
Most often, people just like to write things online because they can (especially if it’s anonymous), and it has nothing to do with your worth, no matter whether you are underweight, overweight, or have anything else about your physical appearance that makes you feel insecure or less than.
Now, can we put this subject to rest and get back to the food?
I’m going to hashtag this photo #fatslug 
Katie…Just want to say that I have never looked or thought of you as someone who was trying to convey anything about eating disorders. I have always enjoyed everything about you and your blog…. You give each of us hope that eating healthy does not mean giving up the things we like. Thanks for all that you do for us out in the world. Keep looking up and know that you are wonderful inside and out. 🙂
Long comment alert…
Well, Katie. I must admit, that took guts. I dont know you personally, but for some reason, im proud of you?I feel like you are one of the ONLY true healthy bloggers out there in the internet world, using fat (actually, promoting it!) and oils in your recipes – healthy fats. You do have a responsibility as a blogger as you unintentionally ARE a role model for kids and even adults, which is difficult. You’ve taken that responsibility and turned it into good. I need to gain weight myself, due to other reasons, and honestly am so afraid of change that it scares me – but i know that for my own health, i do need to. But i can proudly say (please take this as a complement) you are my inspiration. You were always a beautiful girl, always. But now, your are beyond that. You are now my inspiration – and you are safe inspiration. You are healthy, beautiful and very well spoken i must add! You are living proof that beauty does not lie within a certain weight. I am now following your blog religiously, using your recipes to aid in my healthy weight gain. I hope that someday i will be as happy and healthy as you (plus, your recipes kick major ass). Looking at you, you make those who are unhappy with their bodies (well, me anyway) realise that you can be beautiful with a bit more weight. You have never looked happier – you can see it in your eyes. And i want that now. My body needs to be loved – it is about time.
I want to thank you for this, Katie. I am really not a strange stalker psycho or anything either im a normal college student in Ireland – so please take this comment will full sincerity and be proud of yourself, for even helping just one person (but i can nearly promise you that you’ve already helped more).
Best wishes, and take care.
Michelle
oh and by the way – meant to post it earlier but forgot. Anyone ever try mixing Raspberry jam with melted coconut butter, and spreading it on toast? IT TASTES LIKE A MACAROON!! amazing. mmmm…
So true. There are a lot of bloggers out there who are giving nutritional advice like they are professionals. The one time I even asked Katie a nutrition question she was very professional in saying she couldn’t advise on it because it would be irresponsible. And just the fact that she actually took the time to answer me at all. Most bloggers don’t. Love how you still interact with your fans Katie.
I would also like to add that i strongly admire Katie for her strength in actually gaining weight. I dont like to talk about weight on this blog and for a long time have avoided EVER mentioning anything about it – that is Katies life and health – none of our business. Nonetheless, it took courage on Katie’s behalf. It must be difficult, to unintentionally become a role model and grow a name for yourself as “super skinny” – and then to gain weight. That is difficult. But, it shows strength, and confidence that you DO NOT have to live up to what the internet has “made you”. I agree, i have googled chocolate covered katie and seen the pages that pop up as “thinspiration” etc – Katie did not ask for that, and im sure is not happy about it. To gain some weight (only a little, but still – this is hard to do!) and show it to people in the form of photos is something that, i think, deserves admiration. No matter what, change is hard. And changing your body is difficult for anybody, eating-disorder or not (ever hear of puberty? similar concept!).
I congratulate Katie for her amazingly healthy recipes, lifestyle choices (also envious of your job!!!), and most importantly – attitude to life.
Best wishes again
Michelle
Thank you so much! I did figure I’d lose a lot of the pro anorexia followers by posting but hoped others might be inspired to take better care of their health. It is heartbreaking to know something like that exists.
Well, unfortunately it does. A few years ago i wrote an article for the newspaper (and was on TV too! my little 15 minutes of fame!!) about how these pro anorexia websites should be banned etc – but will never happen. Right to free speech etc but all we can do is stay away i suppose. I have unfortunately been a sufferer myself for many years and i dont like to say this publicly but sure feck it – i want to say as a sufferer, you are true, real INSPIRATION. I said it to my father, even – that i’ve started to do better in the last few months due to your recipes and i am not lying. I use coconut butter now and everything – i thank you for this. You should be proud of yourself. You make me believe sometime that maybe, just maybe i CAN be happy with extra weight on me – and to maybe be good to myself. Please be proud of yourself. And keep up the fantastic work 🙂
That means the world to me, Michelle 🙂
People are hating. You look great! Not too thin, and definitely not too thick… And you can be proud of your blog! Keep it up!
I come to your blog for the fabulous recipes! I wish people would focus on that instead of speculating about your personal life. Haters gonna hate. But you just keep on being awesome!
What a great post – you really do seem to have such a well balanced view of things!
Katie, you have long been my inspiration. Not because of what you look like, but because of your innovation, imagination and creative genius. Don’t underestimate the amazing positive influence you have had on so many people and the healthy changes you have encouraged in their lives.
Today’s post shows us that you are also honest and brave.
Thank you for sharing and inspiring!
Lisa
Hey Katie!
Just wanted to say I’ve been following/stalking you for a while now and love your site. I would never have thought those things about you because I actually read your posts and you look extremely healthy. It shows up in your skin, hair and well teeth. That sounds creepy I know. I just… well you are an inspiration and were one of the first people I started following for healthier versions of things I shouldn’t be eating. I love the fact that you have options for almost all of your recipes, it makes it easy to adapt to what I have in my house and what my caloric goals are. Thank you so much for being you and I hope your recipe book is coming soon… I can’t wait to buy it!
– Trina
Hi Katie.
I found your blog last year when I got to teach a food elective for my middle school students. The majority of my kids live in apartments and have never grown their own food, visited a farmers’ market or really thought about making the foods they like healthier. We had no oven or stove so I relied heavily on all of your no bake recipes. We also were vegetarian. Your blog was a perfect fit. We talked about the food, the substitutions, choices to be made when using a recipe. And the best part was that every recipe led to a discussion about healthy eating and good ingredients.
I thank you for this post. I thank you for your integrity. And my students and I REALLY thank you for the one cup microwave chocolate cake. You are an inspiration.
As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder and over exercise habit you have helped me overcome and continue to help me eat healthy while enjoying my love for food and not punish and hate myself for it. Thank you and I think you’re beautiful just the way you are, for who you are.
Endless respect for this post. As someone with a past of eating disorders I know how it feels to be questioned and judged whenever I decide to eat or post recipes for healthy, wholesome food.
Don’t let whispers get you down, your blog is fantastic and inspiring and you seem like a great girl. Keep up the good work! x
I’ve never commented before! Love your recipes and have made quite a few- they are all delicious. I’m sorry people have called you such mean things! You are beautiful and your food is amazing- keep it up 🙂
Welcome to the board! 🙂
Hi Katie, I just wanted to show my support. I’ve been following your blog for the past few years now. I love your recipes and I also enjoy reading your personal posts. You seem like such a great girl and you’re absolutely gorgeous! Its incredibly sad that you receive those awful comments. As you said, women really need to stop tearing each other down and instead, come together, because all of that negativity is counterproductive. I love your positivity. Keep being you!
I agree. Women need to start supporting each other. We need to band together. Sounds cheesy but hopefully you know what I mean by that. We need to stop this cattiness spread over the internet. I’ve seen it with other big bloggers I follow too. Some of the comments are so shockingly nasty!
Hi Katie, I’m so happy you posted about this. It’s great that you were able to recognize your unhealthy exercise habits and kick them- you look so healthy now! I guess I’ve always wondered why you’ve included so many pictures of yourself on your food blog. I love the food photos but I’ve found the pictures of you to be a little bit vain sometimes. I’ve always had a hunch that choosing to post so many photos of your body was what led people to question if you had an eating disorder. I think it opened up the blog to being about the food AND your appearance instead of just about the food. I understand that most bloggers post a headshot and occasional photo of themselves, but yours are usually full body shots. Just a thought.
This is not done to be vain. It’s done to make the blog more personal.
It seems there is no shortage of critics on the internet. I’m sorry that you felt the need to explain anything, but understand why you did. Comments about thin women not being beautiful because they’re not curvy is just as hurtful as comments about being too heavy. If we spent more time encouraging each other and less time criticizing, the world would be a much happier place. Regardless, I appreciate the time that you take to create all the delicious recipes that you post. I refuse to give up desserts so you make it possible for me to feel a little less guilty about enjoying a treat at the end of the day. Every now and then, I actually share the treats with the rest of my family! 🙂 Thank you for doing what you do!
Katie,
As a long-time follower, I’ve read your ups and downs and celebrations and never once thought you may have an eating disorder. I know people with eating disorders; you lack almost every quality they have. I’m sad that you had to write this post, but understand why you did. It’s a beautiful post by a strong young woman to repeat the message so many healthy women are trying to get out: health and beauty are defined by much more than a dress size. I think you are a beautiful, smart, good looking, and inspirational young woman. Keep up all that you do.
And now, off to make more fudge babies, because my husband says they are the best food ever to be invented. Your recipes are used every week in our house.
Peace, love, and chocolate,
Jennifer (and Kyle)
Thank you!! Your hay photo is still one of the highlights of my time blogging. Will never forget that!
If I may, I think you-are-beautiful!