Forgive me, for I have sinned.
Please don’t ever apologize for eating a cupcake, a Twinkie, a non-vegan food, or any other morsel that happens to categorize you as “straying” from whatever diet you’ve chosen.
Guilt is present in so many areas of our lives. We feel guilty when we spend too much on a shopping trip, guilty when we have to say no to a friend’s request, guilty when we end a relationship. Why, then, are we adding to this by associating food with guilt as well? Food ought to be a source of enjoyment, of comfort. Who doesn’t have fond childhood memories in association with food: making Christmas cookies with Grandma, digging into an enormous slice of homemade birthday cake, or eating dessert for dinner? (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who did this!)
Kids know how to truly enjoy life! But all too often, adults say, “Oh, I was bad” or “Oh I shouldn’t.” Sundaes are called “sinful” and brownies are deemed “diet derailers.” I’m not saying one should eat these foods every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I do believe there is a place for treats in a healthy diet. The problem is that many people are trained to see everything as “black and white.”
If you’re interested in a novel of a post, I wrote more here: Orthorexia: The new Eating Disorder. But for now, I want to switch gears and zero in on a particular sub-topic:
Eating a “perfect” vegan diet.
People often send me emails, lamenting the fact that they could never be a “perfect” vegan. But there is no such thing!
I am not a perfect vegan. Even the so-called “vegan police” (those who point fingers at others, saying their efforts aren’t good enough) do not live 100% cruelty-free lives. The fact of the matter is that it’s impossible to live your life and not step on anyone else’s toes. There’s gelatin in book bindings, slavery involved with the chocolate trade, and some animals are even killed in the production of veggies when they run under the tractors. What I’m trying to say is that one shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling like his or her diet (or any aspect of his or her life) isn’t “cruelty-free” enough; we’re all just doing the best that we can in this life. Unfortunately, if one tries to bite off more than he or she can chew (pun intended), one runs the risk of burning out and giving up on doing anything!
There’s also something to be said for part-time vegans or vegetarians (a.k.a. flexitarians). Truth be told, the plethora of vegan items available in mainstream stores today is mostly thanks to these people. There just aren’t enough vegans in the world (yet!) to provide the amount of demand to get, say, Silk Soymilk at Wal-Mart or Almond Breeze at Costco. But with the help of flexitarians, one can now find non-dairy ice creams, mock meats, Larabars, and other vegan goodies outside of Whole Foods.
Even if you’re not ready now–or ever–to give up meat, you can still make a huge difference. Every little bit helps, and sometimes people are more-willing to believe ot trust omnivores than vegans when it comes to product recommendations. For example, if I tried to pass off my 5-Minute Chocolate Mousse to my relatives, they would balk, saying “Oh of course the crazy vegan thinks this is good; she hasn’t had the real thing in years!”
But if my meat-eating dad were to give them a taste, chances are they’d be more receptive. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fret over honey, nor do I beat myself up for eating a food that may contain traces of milk. Some might call me a hypocrite, but I feel I’d just turn more people off to the diet if they saw me scrutinizing every label for hours on end, trying to decipher if “natural flavors” in a certain product are animal-derived. (I’m unsure where I stand on the “veganism and honey” issue. More bugs probably die in the making of my organic kale or broccoli! I don’t go out of my way to eat foods with honey, but I also won’t flip out if I happen to consume it accidentally.)
No matter what you are or aren’t able to do, feel proud of yourself for even wanting to make a difference in this world. I believe that if everyone does as much as he or she feels comfortable doing, the world will slowly become a better place. When I first learned about factory farming, I struggled with the whole “I’m just one person; my not eating meat won’t make a difference at all. No one will even notice” thing. But if you think about it, all the “one persons” add up. If everyone said that he or she were only one person and no one would notice if he or she made an effort to help change the world, then nothing would ever change. Alone, we’re just one person, but when we all come together, we make a huge group, and every one person counts! Plus, you never know who else you’ll inspire. It’s the domino effect.
well said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gosh i luv u!
Awesome post! I wrote a nice “essay” post on guilt as well and I also recently wrote one about the gray areas in life and not focusing so much on black and white. You combined so much into a nice little post, I like it immensely! Too many of us (myself included) strive for the “perfect” diet and in the end… are we any better or healthier if we’re spending all of our time letting it control us or creating more stress in our lives?
Do what works best for you !
What a great post! So many people have an all or nothing approach to veganism or vegetarianism. Every little bit counts! I love when you mentioned showing compassion for yourself is part of veganism too. There is no reason to change yourself to fit a label. Eating should be something that nourishes more than just your body.
Great post Katie and we totally agree. We have dealt with those “vegan police” people, and it has made us stop calling ourselves vegan. We eat to feel good. We eat to heal our bodies. We eat because we love food. We do not eat because we want to fit into some category or something. I hate when people give others a hard time about their diets (we get it all the time), and who is to say what way of eating is better. Vegan or not, people really need to learn to respect others more, and be more open minded.
Oh gosh I better stop there or I will be leaving you a really long comment.
Oh but I love long comments :). Especially when they’re as well-written as yours. Maybe we should just stop using labels. And vegans need to remember that compassion must extend to PEOPLE as well as animals. After all, people ARE animals!
Wow, I love this post. SO well written!
I have been considering becoming a vegan for some time now, but could never think to give up my beloved yogurt. Sure I enjoy milk, cheese, and butter but I don’t eat them often enough to where I would miss them too much. (I don’t even know why honey is an issue for vegans, is it because of the bees or something? Also, my family thinks I am strange enough for ‘the things I do/don’t eat’ that if I scratched even more things off the list for the sake of animals then they would just send me to the nutter-house. I have always been struck with the initial thought that I won’t make a difference, but then I do remember that there are so many others out there that are thinking the same thing, and that always puts me back into my happy place. It is a terrible thing that we now have people cutting out so much of their diet because of how animals, etc…are treated nowadays, but it reminds me that the world isn’t full of heartless people.
Also, I don’t know if it is just where you live or if you were just trying to make a point, but even at the ‘smaller’ (ha) Walmarts, there is soymilk and other vegan products, at least in my city.
Thank you so much for the post! As always it was fun, informative, and very truthful. 🙂
I’m off to work on a Sundae post! Have a fantastic weekend!
Yes Katie! That is exactly what food is! Life is short, so why waste time eating things you don’t like, or fretting over counting calories… Who cares if you eat a little something indulgent? You will love it as long as you cherish it and enjoy it!
I think the key is to love everything you eat, and cherish everything. Same thing goes with life in general-CHERISH IT!
AWESOME post! I’ve been vegetarian for almost two years now, but sometimes I do need some marshmallows, gummy bears, and jell-o in my life! There shouldn’t be fine line between what is or is not the “right diet” for you.
This is not to police you, just to help!
They make veg jello, marshmallows AND gummy bears! I was super excited to find all three. 😀 There are multiple veg marshmallow makers now and they are all SO AMAZING. Yummy yum yum.
Sweet and Sara makes the most amazing delicious gourmet marshmallows. Chicago Soydairy makes a vegan version of the more “stay-puf” sort of marshie. Both are sold at Whole Foods (at least in my region). You can also find boxed vegan flavored jello AND cup vegan jello at WFM – and vegan gummies, too. Oh, some varieties of normal gummies are also veg. I love swedish fish and sour patch kids! Gummies were always my favorite candies.
Or buy here:
http://www.veganessentials.com
This is just in case you didn’t know and would prefer a veg option. If not, just ignore me! 🙂
Brilliant! Great vegan minds must think alike, Katie, because I just wrote a similar post on my blog called Veganism: Where Do You Draw the Line.
I had amazing, thoughtful responses about how to do the best we can to change the world, but not beat ourselves up our forget self-compassion in the process.
Great ideas, miss Katie. I couldn’t agree more! I know that personally, if I try to be perfect in terms of food consumption, I’m setting myself up for a lot of frustration, and it usually takes all the joy out of eating for me!! I eat a lot of vegan foods, but I also eat meat on occasion. It works for me, and I think if I told myself “no meat” – I COULD do it, but it would just feel like a self-imposed, reasonless rule that I was holding myself too. Great post!
what a great and insightful post! i believe that peoples diets should be based on what works for them… not what society guilt us into, what our friends and family belives in, but what fits with our values, beliefs, and needs as individuals.
Keep up the great posts.
Kaila