Forgive me, for I have sinned.
Please don’t ever apologize for eating a cupcake, a Twinkie, a non-vegan food, or any other morsel that happens to categorize you as “straying” from whatever diet you’ve chosen.
Guilt is present in so many areas of our lives. We feel guilty when we spend too much on a shopping trip, guilty when we have to say no to a friend’s request, guilty when we end a relationship. Why, then, are we adding to this by associating food with guilt as well? Food ought to be a source of enjoyment, of comfort. Who doesn’t have fond childhood memories in association with food: making Christmas cookies with Grandma, digging into an enormous slice of homemade birthday cake, or eating dessert for dinner? (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who did this!)
Kids know how to truly enjoy life! But all too often, adults say, “Oh, I was bad” or “Oh I shouldn’t.” Sundaes are called “sinful” and brownies are deemed “diet derailers.” I’m not saying one should eat these foods every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I do believe there is a place for treats in a healthy diet. The problem is that many people are trained to see everything as “black and white.”
If you’re interested in a novel of a post, I wrote more here: Orthorexia: The new Eating Disorder. But for now, I want to switch gears and zero in on a particular sub-topic:
Eating a “perfect” vegan diet.
People often send me emails, lamenting the fact that they could never be a “perfect” vegan. But there is no such thing!
I am not a perfect vegan. Even the so-called “vegan police” (those who point fingers at others, saying their efforts aren’t good enough) do not live 100% cruelty-free lives. The fact of the matter is that it’s impossible to live your life and not step on anyone else’s toes. There’s gelatin in book bindings, slavery involved with the chocolate trade, and some animals are even killed in the production of veggies when they run under the tractors. What I’m trying to say is that one shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling like his or her diet (or any aspect of his or her life) isn’t “cruelty-free” enough; we’re all just doing the best that we can in this life. Unfortunately, if one tries to bite off more than he or she can chew (pun intended), one runs the risk of burning out and giving up on doing anything!
There’s also something to be said for part-time vegans or vegetarians (a.k.a. flexitarians). Truth be told, the plethora of vegan items available in mainstream stores today is mostly thanks to these people. There just aren’t enough vegans in the world (yet!) to provide the amount of demand to get, say, Silk Soymilk at Wal-Mart or Almond Breeze at Costco. But with the help of flexitarians, one can now find non-dairy ice creams, mock meats, Larabars, and other vegan goodies outside of Whole Foods.
Even if you’re not ready now–or ever–to give up meat, you can still make a huge difference. Every little bit helps, and sometimes people are more-willing to believe ot trust omnivores than vegans when it comes to product recommendations. For example, if I tried to pass off my 5-Minute Chocolate Mousse to my relatives, they would balk, saying “Oh of course the crazy vegan thinks this is good; she hasn’t had the real thing in years!”
But if my meat-eating dad were to give them a taste, chances are they’d be more receptive. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fret over honey, nor do I beat myself up for eating a food that may contain traces of milk. Some might call me a hypocrite, but I feel I’d just turn more people off to the diet if they saw me scrutinizing every label for hours on end, trying to decipher if “natural flavors” in a certain product are animal-derived. (I’m unsure where I stand on the “veganism and honey” issue. More bugs probably die in the making of my organic kale or broccoli! I don’t go out of my way to eat foods with honey, but I also won’t flip out if I happen to consume it accidentally.)
No matter what you are or aren’t able to do, feel proud of yourself for even wanting to make a difference in this world. I believe that if everyone does as much as he or she feels comfortable doing, the world will slowly become a better place. When I first learned about factory farming, I struggled with the whole “I’m just one person; my not eating meat won’t make a difference at all. No one will even notice” thing. But if you think about it, all the “one persons” add up. If everyone said that he or she were only one person and no one would notice if he or she made an effort to help change the world, then nothing would ever change. Alone, we’re just one person, but when we all come together, we make a huge group, and every one person counts! Plus, you never know who else you’ll inspire. It’s the domino effect.
Great post Katie, I love this. I agree that is ridiculous that people say they’re “being bad” when they eat something like cake or ice cream. I used to be the same way. It’s so bad to do that because it does nothing but make you feel guilty and you don’t get any enjoyment from the food you are “sinning” with. Why bother then?
I am definitely not a perfect vegan. Some of the hair/beauty products I use aren’t vegan. I try to buy as many vegan things as I can, but sometimes I just can’t afford them. I try to weed out as much non-vegan products I can from my life, but I’m still not 100% there yet. I don’t feel bad about it either, I am doing the best I can and just trying to live within my means.
I hear you on the expensive thing. I looooove Urban Decay, but the fact of the matter is that I just can’t afford to buy ONLY Urban Decay products. And the cheaper companies don’t label their products as being “vegan” or not. So I try to do the best I can, making sure to at least buy non-tested products, and I’ll splurge when I can on the UD stuff.
What a great post! This stuff goes through my mind everyday. And I don’t like to label myself as vegan because “what if I make a mistake? What if I eat something with honey? What if one of my pre-vegan days shoes has some leather in it?, etc…..” I seriously ask myself these questions everyday and think I’m a bad vegan. BUT…..I’m trying not to call myself vegan….I think it makes me feel better, or, less guilty for when mistakes happen. Is that wrong?
My husband would love your post…..he always thinks I TRY to be way too strict and therefore, unhappy because I can’t live up to my own expectations.
Thanks for making me feel better 🙂
This post resonated with me on so many levels. I’m not a complete vegan, but I am a vegetarian. And people have told me that I’m a hypocrite because “what about the dairy animals and veal calves and treatment of chickens?”
I have to remind myself that I am doing as much as I can and that’s good enough and I should be proud of it. Especially given my history with disordered eating, I shouldn’t bite off too much or I’ll spiral into a place I don’t want to go. And then I wouldn’t be helping anyone!
I do have a question for you, and it’s just a curiosity question! In the eight (I think you said eight) years you’ve been vegan, have you ever KNOWINGLY eaten a meat or dairy product, either by accident or choice? I know you said you sometimes eat things that might have trace animal products, but I was wondering about things that have more than just trace amounts. Just curious! 🙂
Katie, I love this post. This is one thing that I stress to people who are considering following or adopting a veg lifestyle. There is no such thing as perfect, in ANYTHING. You can chase perfection but it will never be obtained. I am also flexible with honey (while i wont go buy a jar, I do enjoy chai lattes!) and to be quite frank if i didnt buy products that had traces of milk or honey and things like that i dont know exactly what i would eat. Thanks for beinging this up! 🙂
love this post! it helped me understand your stance on veganism much more deeply. as a non-vegan (i’m grain/dairy free but eat meat/veg/raw nuts/seeds) i think you are one of the few that conveys your choice to be vegan as a non-restrictive, all encompassing lifestyle. i think many view “going vegan” as some sort of diet but that’s really not what it’s about at all! a takeaway message for everyone of all backgrounds to be kind and compassionate! very thoughtful and insightful post!
Your words are so wise! xx
I definately deal with guilt that comes from food EVERY day. My guilt is not caused from being a vegetarian/vegan, but from either the amount of food I eat sometimes or how I feel physically after eating certain things. I actually just talked about this on my post.
But anyways, great post as always (: and you are so lovely!!!!
I love this post. As someone who just became vegetarian in the past couple of months, I’ve struggled with questions around whether my diet is not good enough because I still eat animal products. I did trade cow’s milk for soy milk, but I haven’t given up cheese and there is gelatin in my vitamins. I’ve had these conversations with people as I’ve struggled to defend my choice to become vegetarian while others point out that there is leather in my shoes and on my purse.
I strongly believe that any change can make a difference, and your post is a great reminder of that fact. I think that as a consumer, we vote with our money, and I know that by supporting veg products, I CAN have an impact on the market.
This is a fabulous post Katie!! I can relate to so much of what you are saying–especially thinking of foods as either “good” or “bad”. I can also relate to all the guilt when I feel like I have eaten a “bad” food. God has brought me a long way though and I am enjoying things that I wouldn’t have touched several years ago 😉 I love your aprouch to food and eating!
Great commentary on a phenomenon that is becoming all too common in our culture. As a future nutritionist, I hope to combat the notion that anything that tastes good must be “sinful” or prohibited in some way. No diet is perfect, nor should it be–food is meant to be enjoyed.