Forgive me, for I have sinned.
Please don’t ever apologize for eating a cupcake, a Twinkie, a non-vegan food, or any other morsel that happens to categorize you as “straying” from whatever diet you’ve chosen.
Guilt is present in so many areas of our lives. We feel guilty when we spend too much on a shopping trip, guilty when we have to say no to a friend’s request, guilty when we end a relationship. Why, then, are we adding to this by associating food with guilt as well? Food ought to be a source of enjoyment, of comfort. Who doesn’t have fond childhood memories in association with food: making Christmas cookies with Grandma, digging into an enormous slice of homemade birthday cake, or eating dessert for dinner? (Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who did this!)
Kids know how to truly enjoy life! But all too often, adults say, “Oh, I was bad” or “Oh I shouldn’t.” Sundaes are called “sinful” and brownies are deemed “diet derailers.” I’m not saying one should eat these foods every day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I do believe there is a place for treats in a healthy diet. The problem is that many people are trained to see everything as “black and white.”
If you’re interested in a novel of a post, I wrote more here: Orthorexia: The new Eating Disorder. But for now, I want to switch gears and zero in on a particular sub-topic:
Eating a “perfect” vegan diet.
People often send me emails, lamenting the fact that they could never be a “perfect” vegan. But there is no such thing!
I am not a perfect vegan. Even the so-called “vegan police” (those who point fingers at others, saying their efforts aren’t good enough) do not live 100% cruelty-free lives. The fact of the matter is that it’s impossible to live your life and not step on anyone else’s toes. There’s gelatin in book bindings, slavery involved with the chocolate trade, and some animals are even killed in the production of veggies when they run under the tractors. What I’m trying to say is that one shouldn’t feel guilty for feeling like his or her diet (or any aspect of his or her life) isn’t “cruelty-free” enough; we’re all just doing the best that we can in this life. Unfortunately, if one tries to bite off more than he or she can chew (pun intended), one runs the risk of burning out and giving up on doing anything!
There’s also something to be said for part-time vegans or vegetarians (a.k.a. flexitarians). Truth be told, the plethora of vegan items available in mainstream stores today is mostly thanks to these people. There just aren’t enough vegans in the world (yet!) to provide the amount of demand to get, say, Silk Soymilk at Wal-Mart or Almond Breeze at Costco. But with the help of flexitarians, one can now find non-dairy ice creams, mock meats, Larabars, and other vegan goodies outside of Whole Foods.
Even if you’re not ready now–or ever–to give up meat, you can still make a huge difference. Every little bit helps, and sometimes people are more-willing to believe ot trust omnivores than vegans when it comes to product recommendations. For example, if I tried to pass off my 5-Minute Chocolate Mousse to my relatives, they would balk, saying “Oh of course the crazy vegan thinks this is good; she hasn’t had the real thing in years!”
But if my meat-eating dad were to give them a taste, chances are they’d be more receptive. It’s one of the reasons I don’t fret over honey, nor do I beat myself up for eating a food that may contain traces of milk. Some might call me a hypocrite, but I feel I’d just turn more people off to the diet if they saw me scrutinizing every label for hours on end, trying to decipher if “natural flavors” in a certain product are animal-derived. (I’m unsure where I stand on the “veganism and honey” issue. More bugs probably die in the making of my organic kale or broccoli! I don’t go out of my way to eat foods with honey, but I also won’t flip out if I happen to consume it accidentally.)
No matter what you are or aren’t able to do, feel proud of yourself for even wanting to make a difference in this world. I believe that if everyone does as much as he or she feels comfortable doing, the world will slowly become a better place. When I first learned about factory farming, I struggled with the whole “I’m just one person; my not eating meat won’t make a difference at all. No one will even notice” thing. But if you think about it, all the “one persons” add up. If everyone said that he or she were only one person and no one would notice if he or she made an effort to help change the world, then nothing would ever change. Alone, we’re just one person, but when we all come together, we make a huge group, and every one person counts! Plus, you never know who else you’ll inspire. It’s the domino effect.
That’s why labels are bad – if you don’t fit into the “standard definition” of the label, someone, somewhere is going to say you aren’t truly representing the label. I realize they make it easy to describe you way of eating to someone who doesn’t know you don’t eat x, y, or z, but at the same time, they force you into a black and white world, which doesn’t exist – there are always shades of grey in everything!
And a random note – not all white sugar is non-vegan. Not all sugar refineries use bone char in heir operations. So if anyone says that by eating white sugar you aren’t vegan, they are uninformed.
I totally agree with this post and your general philosophy on food, which is why I was a little surprised by the new heading for this website (“where healthy tastes naughty”). I love your site and am not trying to be critical at all, I just feel like maybe I don’t understand what you mean. “Naughty” to me has a bit of that guilty/sinful connotation, and since I’ve never had the impression that you view certain foods as “naughty”, I’m a little bit confused as to why that’s in the heading? Just wondering if you could set me straight :p. Like I said, I LOVE your blog. You are a fantastic writer and it’s so fun to read a blog that’s witty, articulate, and personable. Keep up the good work 🙂
Hey Ally,
Hmmm… yeah, I guess I am kinda a hypocrite with my wording, huh? It’s sometimes hard to express oneself in writing to convey what one truly means! I really don’t mean anything negative by the term “naughty.” I don’t say “where healthy IS naughty,” rather “where it tastes naughty” as in you’ll FEEL devilish when you eat delicious food, but really you are NOT.
I strive, through ALL my posts, to show people that they can and SHOULD eat the foods they really crave. Every single day. I hope I’m explaining this well… I do not mean to say that you would be naughty if you ate UNhealthy food; all I’m saying is that you’ll THINK you’re being naughty when you eat the recipes on my blog when really you’re not!
Ok, I think I figured out a better way to explain it! I don’t mean “naughty” as in evil. It’s more like as in “r-rated” or sexy! I even thought about saying “healthy is sexy” but LOL I decided it was too risque for a header! 😉
Though my input is nearly a year late, this seemed interesting in retrospect:
“There just aren’t enough vegans in the world (yet!) to provide the amount of demand to get, say, Silk Soymilk at Wal-Mart.”
Nowadays, even Wal-Mart carries Silk soymilk! While I’m not vegan, I love the stuff and even prefer it over cow’s milk. Perhaps some progress has been made on the vegan front, after all. 🙂
I really appreciate this post. This really inspired me to keep on with my diet changes, and to live a healthier lifestyle. Being a vegetarian has really helped my health turn around. I now realize, though, that I’m more of a flexitarian… haha. I don’t feel guilty about eating chicken for protein anymore!
I linked you in my most recent post for my blog readers to take a look at: http://ohdeculture.blogspot.com/2011/08/oops-i-lied.html
I enjoy your blog so much, and I’m glad you’ve decided to make it your current career!
Aww wow, thank you so much! I don’t have a google/wordpress id, so I can’t comment on your post, but I’m honored by your words :).
I have pondered this topic so many times! I am a Veggie, though I’m not a super strict veggie, I tend to occasionally eat sushi..confession time lol. I do not eat fish on a regular basis, by any means, nor do I feel it is good or bad to do so, I just can’t kick sushi! Anyways, there are many people out there who would then say: “Well now you’re a ‘Pescetarian'” I am not worried about that, as I work so very hard to maintain a healthy balanced Plant based diet 98% of the year.
I believe you should do what feels best for YOU, not to be cool, or popular or whatever, but for your own bliss. I am definitely a people pleaser, and thus tend to feel remorse when I don’t measure up (something I am slowly getting over!). Thankfully I am surrounded with people who could frankly care less if I eat meat or not (though at first they were not so supportive, as I lost a lot of weight when I changed my diet, and they felt I was doing it for the wrong reasons) which makes it so much easier to just live my life however it pleases me, your food choices should never be torture, or feel like deprivation.
Anyhow, great topic, it’s one that is so relevant to everyone, what you put in your mouth is your business, and when you try to justify your choices to people who just don’t get it, you’re only setting yourself up for disaster.
My parents sometimes force me to eat sushi. I’m a vegan on my own but the rest of my family is paleo:/
I first saw your blog from something pinned on Pinterest. I’ve seen so many things here that I loved, so I added you to my reader feed and now I’m starting to read your blog more. I really like this post and your attitudes in general. They’re very much like mine, so that makes it pretty easy. . . Anyway, you sound like a sweetheart, I like your recipes and I love your blog. 🙂
Wow, thank you so so much! 🙂
Hello Katie,
I found your site a few days back and while I found most of the desserts really yummy looking, I am yet to try any. I am an Indian and a vegetarian by religion as well as choice. Though I am mostly vegan I do occasionally consume items with milk or honey and am not paranoid about it. I must confess that I was a bit skeptical about your site/recipes initially because I have often felt that people who are not exposed to vegetarianism as a way of life just don’t get it. It is indeed a way of life in India and no one would make you feel weird about it. But I came across this post today while browsing through your archives and I think I should take a bow to you. Your thoughts are so beautiful and I realize now that of course, you do get it completely. I am your biggest fan now and am madly forwarding your site to all my friends. Thank you for sharing all these wonderful recipes and I will start trying them right away.
Pooja
Aw Pooja, thank you so much for such a sweet comment! It really means a lot to me that you’re sharing the site.
Chocolate hugs! 🙂
Thanks so much for your awesome site! I’ve made quite a few of your treats so far. In my case, I have a 9 year old son who has a severe sensitivity to cane sugar and high fructose ‘crud’ (candida sensitivity) and a mild sensitivity to gluten (that’s less of an issue). We also want to eat healthy. Poor kid, though, it’s hard to be 9 and have to avoid sugar. We loved all the recipes so far….and I have to say that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your writing style. This post in particular (although it’s older) really spoke to me. At almost 41, I’m finally learning that life not supposed to be about the quest for perfection. Glad you’re learning that lesson earlier! Yea, Katie! (Oh, and by the way – my sweet 13 year old daughter is named Kathryn and I call her Katie Bird….so great name too.) 🙂 Keep writing and cooking!
Wow, thank you! And haha Katie Bird… what a cute nickname!
I have to be honest, I teared up a little reading this. I’m not vegan, but I’ve been trying to eat healthier for almost a year now. I’ve lost a total of 85 lbs and never would have been able to do it without some of your recipes. I love feeling good about myself while eating your German chocolate fudge bites, or getting compliments on your deep dish chocolate chip cookie (I just took one out of the oven). I now understand that to make yourself healthier, you have to commit to making the change permanent, not a temporary “diet”, and one cannot do that without splurging just a tad now and then. This is a very well written, well said article. You’ve been a life saver!!
Aw thanks, Katie. And congrats on such an incredible weight loss… Obviously you’re doing something right! 🙂
Thanks so much for this post! I am a vegetarian and occasionally run into vegans who stick up their nose at my lifestyle, like what I’m doing isn’t good enough. I do what I feel I can do right now, and I think it makes a difference, even if it’s a smaller difference than a totally vegan lifestyle. Love your attitude and your recipes! <3