I’ve been meaning to write this post about why I gave up running for a while…
Although it’s completely unrelated to healthy desserts or recipes, I wanted to publish in case it can help someone out there who might feel like I did a few months ago.
If you were to stumble upon my blog without knowing anything else about me, you might get a picture of this crazy-enthusiastic girl who is always happy, completely carefree, and whose life revolves around food and chocolate and dessert 24/7.
In reality, “blog Katie” is only a very small portion of who I am outside of the computer world.
You might be surprised by how much of my life is entirely unrelated to food and cooking, and I’m definitely not completely carefree.
Related: How I Started Blogging Full Time
Because I choose not to talk about my friends, relationships, or personal life on the blog, most people would’ve had no idea I was anything less than my usual upbeat self early this year…
Yet even as I continued with the cheery chocolate posts, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted thanks to moving twice, going through a breakup, sorting out issues with the book, and worrying about the future.
In the past, I would have leaned on running to get me through.
It was in college that I first fell in love with the sport, waking up each day excited to get out in the fresh Pennsylvania air before classes. Running provided an outlet for the pent-up energy I was no longer expending on soccer and tennis (sports I’d played almost from birth all the way through high school), and I could think about everything while I ran: school, friends, guys, the past, the future… or sometimes nothing at all.
Running’s meaning in my life would change over the years; when I moved back to Texas it became a comforting source of stability in my crazy and uncertain post-high-school life. Four or five times a week, sun or rain or snow, I’d be out there running, 7 to 10 miles each time. I loved it.
But somehow this past summer, I lost energy and motivation for something that used to bring such joy and excitement. For the first time in eight years, I found myself dreading the idea of going out for a run.
I would drag myself through the miles and arrive home feeling completely drained. Running had never been something I wanted to force myself to do, so one day in early July when I was “supposed” to go out, I just didn’t.
That one day turned into a week.
The week turned into a month.
Then two months.
And I was surprised to find I didn’t miss it. I had much more energy throughout the day, felt happier and less stressed, and even my hair—no longer breaking off from much-too-tight ponytails—looked healthier.
As people have pointed out in a few of my recent posts, I’ve also gained weight, which I’d been trying to do for awhile (I always wanted curves). Not going to lie, I am pretty excited about this.
(To ease your worries if you want to give up running but do not wish to gain weight: I don’t think quitting running directly caused me to gain weight. My personality is such that I naturally tend to lose weight when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, so the change is a physical manifestation of feeling happier and more relaxed.)
Will I ever go back to running?
Maybe someday in the future, but much more recreationally.
If running works for you, that’s great. Keep doing it! But if you’re feeling burned out by running—or any exercise—it might be a good idea to take a step back for awhile. You can always pick it up again if the desire strikes.
That’s not to say I’m advocating giving up exercise completely: I still walk every morning to get out in the fresh air, and lately I’ve been going with a friend to the gym a few times a week (basically he lifts all the heavy weights and I stand there with my 10-lb dumbbells and exercise my mouth!).
When I first gave up running, I feared losing a part of my identity. But the truth is I now have so much more.
2014 Edit: Part Two: Why I Started Running Again
Recipe Of The Day:
Flourless Pancakes – 3 Ingredients, NO gluten, soy, eggs, or refined sugar
Hi Katie – just wanted to say ….I find life is always shifting & ebbing…although I am older than you, I can totally relate to your running story…I was going regularly to an early morning Zumba class…I decided that although I felt good once there, I didn’t really want to go anymore. I now get to enjoy my mornings without the stress of having to be somewhere…soo loving it! I will take a walk when the weather is good and when the spirit moves me…I feel so relaxed and happy with my decision and new routine. And…just to point out how we go through changes all the time…I’ve just switched over to wanting to carry small purses as opposed to large ones …..really funny…it used to be the more compact the pocketbook, the better…now I am loving having a big bag to comfortably carry all my stuff, including my iPad and can even carry around healthy snacks too! Embrace change! Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. One of your loyal followers from Florida, Barbara
Wow, what a powerful and brave post, Katie! This popped into my email inbox (I subscribe to your posts) on the perfect day, one where I was struggling with the same problem: I’ve been feeling pretty burned out on running lately, despite having really enjoyed it in the past. I could totally identify with your feeling of “what will I be when I’m not a runner?”; I had allowed it to become too much a defining aspect of my character! Lately, I’ve made a commitment to back down from “forced” runs, and I’ve found myself much happier. I still exercise daily, but I look forward to it more now when I don’t create imperatives about the type of activity I “should” be doing. I’ve been able to dive back into and deepen my yoga practice, a form of movement that nourishes me inside and out, and I’m so grateful for that!
It was so wonderful to see my thoughts and feelings affirmed by your post: it was like you were talking directly to me! Thank you again for your courage, and for reminding us all of the importance of listening to our bodies and spirits just as much as we listen to the stories of the mind 🙂
Thanks for sharing! As an avid runner myself, I have been recently sidelined by an injury. I am a little surprised of how well I seem to be handling it. I always thought if one day I found that I couldn’t run, it would tear me apart. It was such a large part of my identity. But I’ve been surprisingly okay with it (I might have been on the cusp of a burnout). It has definitely given me a chance to get a little fresh air and mix up my routine a bit. It’s a good opportunity to explore new things 🙂
This is such a great post! I was a 10 plus year runner and ran every other day without fail. I also have Fibromyalgia, which obviously made everything a trillion times harder. I used running a way to control (as my health strangely deteriorated) and ironically it ended up controlling me. Running is very hard on the body – take a look at avid runners as they age. My chiro says a lot of his clients are runners. Anyway, I discovered barre exercises and I do the “Insanity” cardio workouts (yes, it’s insane, but it is a lot shorter with quicker results than running!) My body had plateaued with running. Now, my weight seems to have shifted. (Slimmer limbs, leaner muscle and yet bigger breasts. Crazy! Who knew?) I’m not complaining and I can’t say I won’t ever go back to running on occasion, but for right now, I am enjoying the break. It was a hard decision for me to change, but I had to remind myself that it wasn’t “world-changing” if I stopped for a few days. I am so glad I did!! Sorry for rambling…thank you for posting this for all it may help!
I just finished my first half marathon and I was so happy but now I feel kind of lost. Thank you for pointing out to yourself and making me realize that I am more than just a runner.
listening to your body is one of the biggest tools we need to better ourselves! without rest or proper fuel it will run us literally into the ground, so props to you for listening to yourself <3
So glad you posted this.
Katie – I can completely relate to what you’re saying about getting burnt out from exercise, especially something you used to love and look forward to. I run into the same thing with weight lifting from time to time, which I consider to be my passion. It’s nice to take a step back and actually let yourself MISS it! Good for you.
And I think you look absolutely gorgeous with the little bit of weight that you’ve put on. You look much healthier and you have that happy glow!
XO
Good for you, you look healthy and happy! It’s interesting how something that is known to be “healthy” behaviour can actually make us feel stressed/tired .. I guess it’s all about finding that balance. BTW it is amazing that you can keep such a slender frame if you are eating 1/3 a jar of peanut butter (probably 3x the average person’s daily calorie needs given a tbsp has 100 cals) plus coconut oil!! Lucky you … Or maybe I missed something (do you have hyperthyroid?) previously posted. I follow your blog for the recipes but haven’t noted any comment on that. Also, I have tried that combination several times, with a spoon, while standing in the kitchen. It reminds me of these Icy squares (chocolate squares made with coconut oil, I now realize – that is what made them so addictive as a child). Glad to know I’m not the only one 🙂
It’s not helping me to “keep” my slender frame; it is helping me to gain weight. I’ve gained pretty quickly by doing this, and I couldn’t be happier :). Although soon I will probably have to cut back!
I’ve never commented on your website before, but I wanted to make sure to say that I am very proud of you for this. I am currently recovering from (various forms of) an eating disorder and learning to take a step back from exercise has taken me a very long time to accomplish. I am very proud of you for realizing that you don’t need to force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do, and have the bravery to be so honest and open on your blog. Take care of yourself, Katie. (: