I’ve been meaning to write this post about why I gave up running for a while…
Although it’s completely unrelated to healthy desserts or recipes, I wanted to publish in case it can help someone out there who might feel like I did a few months ago.
If you were to stumble upon my blog without knowing anything else about me, you might get a picture of this crazy-enthusiastic girl who is always happy, completely carefree, and whose life revolves around food and chocolate and dessert 24/7.
In reality, “blog Katie” is only a very small portion of who I am outside of the computer world.
You might be surprised by how much of my life is entirely unrelated to food and cooking, and I’m definitely not completely carefree.
Related: How I Started Blogging Full Time
Because I choose not to talk about my friends, relationships, or personal life on the blog, most people would’ve had no idea I was anything less than my usual upbeat self early this year…
Yet even as I continued with the cheery chocolate posts, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted thanks to moving twice, going through a breakup, sorting out issues with the book, and worrying about the future.
In the past, I would have leaned on running to get me through.
It was in college that I first fell in love with the sport, waking up each day excited to get out in the fresh Pennsylvania air before classes. Running provided an outlet for the pent-up energy I was no longer expending on soccer and tennis (sports I’d played almost from birth all the way through high school), and I could think about everything while I ran: school, friends, guys, the past, the future… or sometimes nothing at all.
Running’s meaning in my life would change over the years; when I moved back to Texas it became a comforting source of stability in my crazy and uncertain post-high-school life. Four or five times a week, sun or rain or snow, I’d be out there running, 7 to 10 miles each time. I loved it.
But somehow this past summer, I lost energy and motivation for something that used to bring such joy and excitement. For the first time in eight years, I found myself dreading the idea of going out for a run.
I would drag myself through the miles and arrive home feeling completely drained. Running had never been something I wanted to force myself to do, so one day in early July when I was “supposed” to go out, I just didn’t.
That one day turned into a week.
The week turned into a month.
Then two months.
And I was surprised to find I didn’t miss it. I had much more energy throughout the day, felt happier and less stressed, and even my hair—no longer breaking off from much-too-tight ponytails—looked healthier.
As people have pointed out in a few of my recent posts, I’ve also gained weight, which I’d been trying to do for awhile (I always wanted curves). Not going to lie, I am pretty excited about this.
(To ease your worries if you want to give up running but do not wish to gain weight: I don’t think quitting running directly caused me to gain weight. My personality is such that I naturally tend to lose weight when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, so the change is a physical manifestation of feeling happier and more relaxed.)
Will I ever go back to running?
Maybe someday in the future, but much more recreationally.
If running works for you, that’s great. Keep doing it! But if you’re feeling burned out by running—or any exercise—it might be a good idea to take a step back for awhile. You can always pick it up again if the desire strikes.
That’s not to say I’m advocating giving up exercise completely: I still walk every morning to get out in the fresh air, and lately I’ve been going with a friend to the gym a few times a week (basically he lifts all the heavy weights and I stand there with my 10-lb dumbbells and exercise my mouth!).
When I first gave up running, I feared losing a part of my identity. But the truth is I now have so much more.
2014 Edit: Part Two: Why I Started Running Again
Recipe Of The Day:
Flourless Pancakes – 3 Ingredients, NO gluten, soy, eggs, or refined sugar
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I ran competitively from middle school through my sophomore year of college, but the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I started hating it. I literally wanted to cry every time I laced up my shoes.
For me, it took about 4 months of no running at all and a good year of running just for fun (no races, only going out when and for how long I felt like) to really remember why I loved running again. But I also think it’s fine to give it up for good. Running should never be a source of stress. There are too many of those in everyday life to begin with 🙂 Good for you for being honest with your body and your heart!
Looking forward to checking out more of your blog posts in the future 🙂
I am so happy that you made this big decision…. life is short and being happy is extremely important. Sorry you had a rough year….here’s to the best yet!
ps: your sugar cookie oatmeal is to die for… I can hardly wait to buy your cookbook!
Such a beautiful post and I think it was so brave, courageous and honest of you to share something private and telling. Thank you for this!
I’m happy to read that you are listening to your body and doing what’s right for you. And I love that you include that we all just have to find our own way in exercise and in life. No one else can tell us the way that will make us happy.
Thank you so much Katie for opening up about this! I truly wish all the best for you, as you are such a sweetheart and an amazing person. I also think that you look more healthier and beautiful ever, though you were a completely stunner even earlier! I’ve always admired your hair, so it must be looking and feeling so heavenly right now being that gorgeuos to begin with!
Great to hear you’re also finding a new form of exercise (gym), maybe you can form a passion out of it…? Really it has happened to a loads of gym-haters, so why not you? 😉
Katie,
Thanks so much for sharing such a personal story with us, and for listening to yourself and stopping a stressful activity when you needed to. All of us have heartbreak, and issues ahead, but past that remember there is always a silver lining. You are so strong through all of this, and kept really cheery which is something a lot of us wouldn’t do. In my case, you can find me in the closet sobbing while eating homemade nutella. 🙂 It is fantastic that you feel a lot better about yourself, and you are feeling better. Your hair looks fabulous and i am so glad you are on this blog. Keep it up!
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story with us. It’s great to get to know more about the woman behind the chocolate. I was wondering if you are doing anything else to gain weight. I am really struggling to gain weight on a vegan diet.
Hi Gail,
Do try the peanut butter mixed with coconut oil and molasses (or any sweetener). It’s much smoother than regular pb so you can eat it more quickly and in larger quantities. Try eating it first thing in the morning and taking in a good portion of calories early so you can just go about your day the rest of the day… it’s no fun to count calories or worry about consuming enough food when you’d rather just be hanging out with friends or living life.
More ideas: https://lett-trim.today/2012/03/04/my-high-calorie-recipes/%3C/a%3E%3C/p%3E
Full fat coconut milk will also help you gain weight. You can add it to smoothies, make whipped cream with the thick part and add it to curries. Add nuts, seeds, avocado & healthy oils into your meals. Try a fourth meal or add a smoothie in. Coconut butter is delicious and you can eat that on whole grain crackers, try the chocolate coconut butter with fruit or just off the spoon. (and it’s really good with sunflower seed butter).
Good for you, Katie! Thanks for sharing…I know you’ve touched people who might be going through similar things with this post.
Go Katie! I’m really proud of you! You’ve always motivated me to do what I like AND to do what’s healthy. I’ve also had a period in my life where I needed to gain weight, and I also found out that being more relaxed just makes you healthier. Besides, they say running is really bad for your knees, especially if you run so often. Anyway; stay strong!
I ran for 10 years & did 6 marathons in that time. A few years ago I wanted something different & found a gym that I love. I was still running & training for NYC marathon last year. This was going to be my last marathon. Well, the hurricane hit & I didn’t get to run it. It was probably a good thing. I hadn’t trained like I should have. (I was having more fun at the gym.) I ran the day of the marathon & was in pain. I don’t think I could have finished a marathon that day. I decided that I was done running. I didn’t enjoy it anymore & now when someone wants to go run, I just dread it. I don’t think I’ve run in almost a year & I don’t miss it either. Like you said, if I do start to miss it I can always start again.
I really love this post!!!
It’s really funny because I have just experienced the exactly thing as you.
I started running 2 hours each day right after high school as well (which is like 4 years ago).
However, I just completely stopped this routine about a month ago and I am enjoying my life more than ever!!
It’s really strange though because I used to be so passionate about running…
Now i just hit the gym a couple times per week! 🙂
Katie, I’m so thrilled that you shared this part of your story. I have been there for so long, but praise the Lord those days are past. Personally, my compulsive exercise was a part of my eating disorder, which for many years ran my life. I have found freedom now and it’s amazing how much fun exercise is now. But, like you, I don’t run anymore. I once ran marathons and pushed for more and more mileage every week. Now, I walk my dog at the lake, love Yoga and workout in my home gym a few days a week for however long I want. I do have my life back. And yes, giving up running was like splitting off a part of myself, or so I thought. But, I too have discovered a much fuller, happier, expansive, life-filled me!
I wrote a few posts about my journey here:
http://www.findingbalance.com/2013/06/reclaiming-fitness/
http://predatory-lies.com/2012/09/05/who-me-an-addict/
Hey Katie, dear! I did the same thing with my fitness routine. After years of teaching 10-15 fitness classes a week for a living, I pretty much stopped cold turkey once my life shifted & I no longer needed to teach to sustain my family.
Now my exercise are leasurely walks with my kids to school or to the park. I’m actually pregnant right now, so that’s part of the reason why I’m not as crazy gung-ho, but I plan to continue with a more laid back approach after I have this baby. I think it’s important to move, but I absolutely believe that ultra-fitness regimines are not healthy, or sustainable for most people. I say, do what you love–for me that’s being in water (swimming), yoga, walking/hiking, & biking.
Hang in there sweetie–speaking from experience, the 20’s are a tumultuous time–so many decisions, so much uncertainty, especially post-college. You’re awesome, with a good head on your shoulders though. You’ll figure things out. (And for the record, having just entered my 30’s, I can say I’m so glad I’m here!).
ox
I loved this post because I can relate. I too have given up running. I found it made me more tired than energized. I did not love it like I used to and I some days I had anxiety about waking up and running. I recently got a dog and now I take her on walks every morning instead of doing my run. I look forward to it and no longer feel deathly tired. I am not saying I have given up running forever….a nice 3 mile run now and them may happen. However, for right now I am listening to my body and doing what is best. I am glad to hear you are doing the same.
So proud of you for listening to your body, Katie! And for talking about it, as well – exercise isn’t ALWAYS the healthy outlet it’s made out to be; it can run already-ragged bodies (often of type-A personalities – me!) into the ground. I’m happy to hear you’ve found balance. 🙂
Katie- thank you so much for sharing this post. It’s such a beautiful reminder that we should never feel like we HAVE to do something just because we once loved it and because its supposed to be good for us. The much more important thing is to listen to our bodies and pay attention to how they evolve. I so needed to hear this right now!!! Thanks lovely 🙂