I’ve been meaning to write this post about why I gave up running for a while…
Although it’s completely unrelated to healthy desserts or recipes, I wanted to publish in case it can help someone out there who might feel like I did a few months ago.
If you were to stumble upon my blog without knowing anything else about me, you might get a picture of this crazy-enthusiastic girl who is always happy, completely carefree, and whose life revolves around food and chocolate and dessert 24/7.
In reality, “blog Katie” is only a very small portion of who I am outside of the computer world.
You might be surprised by how much of my life is entirely unrelated to food and cooking, and I’m definitely not completely carefree.
Related: How I Started Blogging Full Time
Because I choose not to talk about my friends, relationships, or personal life on the blog, most people would’ve had no idea I was anything less than my usual upbeat self early this year…
Yet even as I continued with the cheery chocolate posts, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted thanks to moving twice, going through a breakup, sorting out issues with the book, and worrying about the future.
In the past, I would have leaned on running to get me through.
It was in college that I first fell in love with the sport, waking up each day excited to get out in the fresh Pennsylvania air before classes. Running provided an outlet for the pent-up energy I was no longer expending on soccer and tennis (sports I’d played almost from birth all the way through high school), and I could think about everything while I ran: school, friends, guys, the past, the future… or sometimes nothing at all.
Running’s meaning in my life would change over the years; when I moved back to Texas it became a comforting source of stability in my crazy and uncertain post-high-school life. Four or five times a week, sun or rain or snow, I’d be out there running, 7 to 10 miles each time. I loved it.
But somehow this past summer, I lost energy and motivation for something that used to bring such joy and excitement. For the first time in eight years, I found myself dreading the idea of going out for a run.
I would drag myself through the miles and arrive home feeling completely drained. Running had never been something I wanted to force myself to do, so one day in early July when I was “supposed” to go out, I just didn’t.
That one day turned into a week.
The week turned into a month.
Then two months.
And I was surprised to find I didn’t miss it. I had much more energy throughout the day, felt happier and less stressed, and even my hair—no longer breaking off from much-too-tight ponytails—looked healthier.
As people have pointed out in a few of my recent posts, I’ve also gained weight, which I’d been trying to do for awhile (I always wanted curves). Not going to lie, I am pretty excited about this.
(To ease your worries if you want to give up running but do not wish to gain weight: I don’t think quitting running directly caused me to gain weight. My personality is such that I naturally tend to lose weight when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, so the change is a physical manifestation of feeling happier and more relaxed.)
Will I ever go back to running?
Maybe someday in the future, but much more recreationally.
If running works for you, that’s great. Keep doing it! But if you’re feeling burned out by running—or any exercise—it might be a good idea to take a step back for awhile. You can always pick it up again if the desire strikes.
That’s not to say I’m advocating giving up exercise completely: I still walk every morning to get out in the fresh air, and lately I’ve been going with a friend to the gym a few times a week (basically he lifts all the heavy weights and I stand there with my 10-lb dumbbells and exercise my mouth!).
When I first gave up running, I feared losing a part of my identity. But the truth is I now have so much more.
2014 Edit: Part Two: Why I Started Running Again
Recipe Of The Day:
Flourless Pancakes – 3 Ingredients, NO gluten, soy, eggs, or refined sugar
you look a lot healthier honestly!! I am proud of you! sometimes you gotta change up your routine. GOOD JOB! 🙂
Thanks for writing this – I can completely relate. I gave up running due to injuries for months, so it really wasn’t a choice, but at first it was very tough. Then I realized how much of my life I got back not being tied to the running schedule. I missed my running friends and the social aspect the most, quite honestly. Also, I was in the process of recovering from my eating disorder, so along with that, running has not remained the center of my life. I would run a lot to be thin, among the other good benefits. Now, I am back running a bit but only when I want to – when my ankles feel ok, or when the weather is beautiful, or I have a friend to hang out with. It’s so freeing to not have exercise control your life, but rather enhance it – as it should! Thanks for being brave and open.
Katie, good for you. I say this because we (as women especially) feel this tendency to live up to all the “shoulds” we put on ourselves. Life is so full of enrichment and there are so many ways to exercise your mind, body, soul. Not to sound cheesy, but doing less of what you “should” do and more of what you “want” to do is something I am striving for. Don’t get me wrong, exercise makes me feel better, so I want to do it. But if it’s a day where I am exhausted and need that extra relaxation time … it is OK for me to take it. (perhaps some time off even more of a “should” in reality??)
I’m trying to seek that balance of doing what I need to do, but letting more fall through. Saying no more often. Doing what makes me feel the best, trying new things, and constantly reevaluating how I spend my precious few spare minutes a day.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your personal world with us.
Thank you for sharing this – love it. I’ve never been a runner and actually keep telling myself to just try it, so I laughed when I saw your post. But I get it, I totally get it. You do something because it brings you joy and takes stress away and you stop when it no longer does that. And if I could share some of my curves with you, I would (but just that little extra bit that I’m too lazy to get rid of on my own.)
Good advice!
I went through a weight up/down (having always had a stable weight my entire life, this was bizarre at the time, and made sense given my whole life situation, in retrospect). As a result, I hit training HARD, and because it had helped me re-centre myself, I continued it just as heavily throughout my touring season (I’m a full-time circus performer) for TWO years. I arrived home after my European tour this autumn feeling completely drained and dreading the gym. While I do need to maintain a *certain* level of fitness to do my job, I realized I was over-training and injuring myself (and what’s worse, making myself miserable in the process) I’ve decided to take this winter off and I couldn’t be happier! (and subsequently, lost the 2.5kg I put on during the summer!) It’s amazing how taking time to breathe
Sounds like you had a year similar to me with the two moves. It’s stressful. Be kind to yourself and you’ll bounce back to wherever you want to be!
Great post! I used to read your blog a few years ago when you would run a lot. I always admired it but couldn’t imagine running as much as you. I have taken a break but I still bike about 8 miles total going to and from college and my house. I havent read your blog in awhile but i saw it on Facebook and I’m glad i did.
What a brilliant post. Thanks for being so honest and open with your readers. I was forced to give up intense exercise for exactly the same reason – too many emotional stress factors, plus running and long-distance cycling (and gym sessions) adding physical stress to my body (and mind). After nearly two years without regular high-intensity exercise (only yoga and walking) I’m finally able to do some random recreational stuff again, mostly going on bike rides or for swims. But anyway, good on you for making this change and congratulations on feeling happier and healthier – that’s what really matters at the end of the day.
Katie, I’ve followed your blog for YEARS now, and I have always been a huge fan of your recipes. But I must say, it is absolutely WONDERFUL to hear about your life! Seriously, you rock for listening to your body and mind and just going with what feels right. I know this is your blog and I love it exactly the way it is, but I would love to see posts like this more often!
As a side note, yoga is wonderful for developing toned, curvy, sexy muscles. Sometimes I like to make my apartment completely dark at night, lights a few candles, and pop in a yoga DVD. It’s so relaxing, too.
I totally know how you feel.
I used to run nearly every day of the week. And I totally loved it. But at one point, I too realized I was dreading my morning run. At about this time, my right knee starting hurting badly. I couldn’t run for at least 2 months.
I recently started running again, just a few days a week. I love it so much more now that I took a break. Sometimes, you just need to stop. Either way, do what makes you happy because that matters more.
Emily
Thanks for sharing. I am sorry that you have had a rough year. Thanks for sharing about how you decided not to run when you didn’t feel like it was helping you. I have been struggling with this and thinking about this recently. Very helpful, thank you! 🙂
After logging over 1000km and running a couple of marathons last year, I kind of ended up in the same boat earlier this year. It almost felt like work and wasn’t fun. Couple that with the fact that I started dating a non-runner right after new year’s, I went down to pretty much nothing for most of the year. Then, when I got dumped around labor day, I found my way back to running, and it felt awesome again. It was like being re-united with an old friend! I decided to be a bit more sane this time around though… no more marathons in the near future (though I am running the Dallas Half in a couple of weeks) and less junk miles, so I can have more fun at it (and isn’t that really the point anyway?!?). I’ve always been a firm believer in that everyone needs to do what’s right for them, so you’ve found a change that’s working for you, then it’s the right thing to do!
I feel your pain; I like to run as well, but it’s a lot harder when one’s real life isn’t going so well. But I hope you feel better, and your blog has been extra-fabulous lately if I must say so myself (so much cake! and pie! and pumpkin pancakes!). Your fans will always be here for you!
<3
BTW eating a bowl of peanut butter straight with molasses sounds awesome. And why not?
I definitely have my spurts of loving to run and times when I dread it! I think it’s normal? Should be enjoyable! 🙂
In time, you may want to run again, you may not. But, I have found that when I am going through extreme stress, that is enough of a workout for me. Right now, your body needs deep nourishment, not more expenditure. Enjoy pampering yourself, you deserve it! 🙂
Good for you. Running killed my knees and resulted in nerve damage at the age of 21. Find something else physical to do, and I am sorry to hear all of your recent stress you have gone through. Keep faith; everything will get better.
I love this blog. But I must say while I tend to eat when I’m happy, sadly I also eat when stressed. So I do yoga!
We’ve each got to learn what works for us.