I’ve been meaning to write this post about why I gave up running for a while…
Although it’s completely unrelated to healthy desserts or recipes, I wanted to publish in case it can help someone out there who might feel like I did a few months ago.
If you were to stumble upon my blog without knowing anything else about me, you might get a picture of this crazy-enthusiastic girl who is always happy, completely carefree, and whose life revolves around food and chocolate and dessert 24/7.
In reality, “blog Katie” is only a very small portion of who I am outside of the computer world.
You might be surprised by how much of my life is entirely unrelated to food and cooking, and I’m definitely not completely carefree.
Related: How I Started Blogging Full Time
Because I choose not to talk about my friends, relationships, or personal life on the blog, most people would’ve had no idea I was anything less than my usual upbeat self early this year…
Yet even as I continued with the cheery chocolate posts, I was feeling overwhelmed and exhausted thanks to moving twice, going through a breakup, sorting out issues with the book, and worrying about the future.
In the past, I would have leaned on running to get me through.
It was in college that I first fell in love with the sport, waking up each day excited to get out in the fresh Pennsylvania air before classes. Running provided an outlet for the pent-up energy I was no longer expending on soccer and tennis (sports I’d played almost from birth all the way through high school), and I could think about everything while I ran: school, friends, guys, the past, the future… or sometimes nothing at all.
Running’s meaning in my life would change over the years; when I moved back to Texas it became a comforting source of stability in my crazy and uncertain post-high-school life. Four or five times a week, sun or rain or snow, I’d be out there running, 7 to 10 miles each time. I loved it.
But somehow this past summer, I lost energy and motivation for something that used to bring such joy and excitement. For the first time in eight years, I found myself dreading the idea of going out for a run.
I would drag myself through the miles and arrive home feeling completely drained. Running had never been something I wanted to force myself to do, so one day in early July when I was “supposed” to go out, I just didn’t.
That one day turned into a week.
The week turned into a month.
Then two months.
And I was surprised to find I didn’t miss it. I had much more energy throughout the day, felt happier and less stressed, and even my hair—no longer breaking off from much-too-tight ponytails—looked healthier.
As people have pointed out in a few of my recent posts, I’ve also gained weight, which I’d been trying to do for awhile (I always wanted curves). Not going to lie, I am pretty excited about this.
(To ease your worries if you want to give up running but do not wish to gain weight: I don’t think quitting running directly caused me to gain weight. My personality is such that I naturally tend to lose weight when I’m stressed and overwhelmed, so the change is a physical manifestation of feeling happier and more relaxed.)
Will I ever go back to running?
Maybe someday in the future, but much more recreationally.
If running works for you, that’s great. Keep doing it! But if you’re feeling burned out by running—or any exercise—it might be a good idea to take a step back for awhile. You can always pick it up again if the desire strikes.
That’s not to say I’m advocating giving up exercise completely: I still walk every morning to get out in the fresh air, and lately I’ve been going with a friend to the gym a few times a week (basically he lifts all the heavy weights and I stand there with my 10-lb dumbbells and exercise my mouth!).
When I first gave up running, I feared losing a part of my identity. But the truth is I now have so much more.
2014 Edit: Part Two: Why I Started Running Again
Recipe Of The Day:
Flourless Pancakes – 3 Ingredients, NO gluten, soy, eggs, or refined sugar
Katie, wow, just wow. As someone who’d been afraid to step back from running because it feels like such a big part of my identity (I’m “that skinny girl who bakes and runs”), it is empowering to here from someone who wasn’t afraid to take a break for however long she needs. Thank you for sharing this post! Also, can I just say how much I’d love to talk about this with you over PB mixed with coconut oil? And maybe chocolate 😉
Thank you for your honesty, and exposing yourself in transparency. It’s one of the qualities of this blog I think. I believe that as far as working out goes, there is no “one size fit all” type of work-out. It’s really about discerning what fits you and I too praise your decision to listen to your body. I believe it was truly sending you a signal.
I too used to run and I really loved it but had to stop, because of a joint inflammation on one of my knees. Since then, I also realized it had taken its toll on my back, that was already weak. I have made my peace that it’s really an exercise that does me more damage than good, and therefore is for others.
I’d also like to share an information from a Dr, back in France, where I am from: according to her, running for women is actually a factor contributing to pelvic organs prolapse. Made sense to me, and gave me another good reason for me to not have regrets. Again saying that it’s a matter of personal choice/conviction and what fits one.
Thanks for posting this Katie! It is so important to listen to our bodies! I am happy you are in such a better place now 🙂 All the best!
GREAT post Katie, thank you for writing this! I had been feeling much the same earlier and it’s amazing to find out that you as a person are not defined by the type of exercise you do! Good on you!
If you like coconut oil in your PB, this will be your new addiction! Im obsessed!
http://www.earthbalancenatural.com/product/crunchy-coconut-peanut/
Thank you for this. I can understand why you feel the need to keep your private life out of your blogging life, but I have been missing that extra bit of *you* that you would occasionally share. I’m glad you still trust your readers to be honest about something as momentous as self-identity. I hope you always trust your gut and only do things because you love them, not because the outside world expects you to. Thank you for a site full of sinless deliciousness. Your black bean brownie recipe is my favorite brownie recipe ever.
Oh, and the coconut oil peanut butter combo is even BETTER when you add cocoa powder. I’ll have to actually use blackstrap instead of agave next time and see how I like that. It’s a shame I don’t need to gain weight though…
Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with us! It takes a lot to write about something so very personal. I just wanted to say, that it makes you appear so much more human (in a good way). So I am very glad you posted this.
Be lovely in everything you do!
Posts like this are why your blog is the only food or “healthy-living” blog that I read. I get so sick of other blogs that are basically just mechanisms for the authors to brag about how they ate 1/3 cup of oats (rolled! always rolled oats!) after running 12 miles that morning, with photos of the same damn bowl of oats seven days a week. To me, that’s not healthy living. I am aware that I’m hypersensitive to these issues because of my history with anorexia, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s really refreshing to have someone who is both focused on making food with healthy ingredients *and* talking about real-life self care. For you to share that you gave up an exercise routine that was becoming oppressive, that life is not always so perfect behind the scenes, and that are happy about your awesome new curves–I already had respect for you, but it just doubled. We need more voices like yours.
I recently did the very same thing and it has really helped to refocus me. Good luck! And thanks for sharing.
Kinda quick story. Me – crazy runner 20 years. Trashed my hip. Surgery. Worse now than ever. Can’t run. Shoot, can’t walk w/out a limp! Switched to cycling. Diagnosed w/overtraining about 6 years ago. Still struggle a tiny bit but much better. I know this man in his 80’s. He has ridden bikes all his life…all over the world. He rides no matter the weather (except snow). He’s SLOW & he doesn’t care. Now he rides a recumbent b/c it’s more comfortable. He LOVES LOVES LOVES to ride. You can see it on his face. He has never spent a day of his life in a hospital (not even when he was born!). He’s never injured. He’s always happy. He looks amazing & nothing near his age. He shares his love of bikes with others. We should all embrace “exercise” like this…as though it’s not exercise. Good for you for listening to your body Katie!
Katie-
Thank you so much for sharing this! I am happy to know that YOU are happy. It seems that blog Katie is always smiling, pretty, skinny, and still able to eat yummy desserts all the time. I am glad to know you are a real person too!
I was a committed runner for many years. I developed a stress fracture in my foot two summers ago, and even after the injury healed, I lost my motivation to run as intensely as I used to. I still struggle to get out and go run. If it is a nice day, I may go, but my hips and foot hurt. So now I am going to boot camp and HIIT fit classes (plus I play tennis several times a week). A friend asked me to do a 1/2 marathon with her in spring 2014…and I kind of just said “eeehhhh” because I know in my heart that I don’t want to do it! I just don’t have the desire. Even my husband, who is a sub 3 hour marathoner, is starting to lose his motivation. It’s just hard to keep doing something over and over and over again. We need to keep ourselves challenged with new things I guess! Anyway, thank you for your blog and your recipes! Enjoy your life!
It is probably a good thing you gave up running when you did, especially if it was making you feel bad. I have read many articles and research on the dangers of long, slow distance cardio. Here are 2 good ones that summarize: http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/endorphin-junkies-beware-excessive-cardio-scars-the-heart/
Man was not designed for movement at a chronically sustained high intensity aerobic pace – See more at: http://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/how-running-a-marathon-can-seriously-harm-your-health/#sthash.RFTxshG9.dpuf
Exercising with short bursts of high intensity is actually better for your heart. If I run, it is in short bursts of energy (for example- run as fast as I can for 1 minute, then walk 20 seconds, then repeat etc.)
Thanks for sharing! I love running as stress relief, but when I get really stressed out I turn it into an obsession…sometimes you just have to take a break I guess!
I hated training for my half marathon and since then… I haven’t stepped outside with those running shoes on! I don’t miss it at all. I’m sure I will again… just not now! (:
Katie, I’m so glad you decided to share this with us! I know it’s hard to open up about personal subjects like this especially if people have been considering you to be all happy-go-lucky at all times. Trust me, though, you’re an inspiration for many by posting this and I’m including myself here.
In the past I’ve been forced to give up running due to injuries several times – sometimes for a few months at a time. At first it seemed unbearable but just like you I noticed it got easier. I wasn’t stressing about workouts anymore and no, I didn’t immediately become an overweight lazy couch potato. Just like you, though, I actually need to gain a little – and have recently – so congrats on that :)! Manifestation of feeling more relaxed and happier? That’s an awesome idea of viewing it and one I might steal to feel comfortable with my additional pounds, too.
You really look beautiful, girl!
Such a brave post! Thank you for sharing! I’m happy that you’re feeling better now.