If you have a special diet, does this sound familiar?
You receive an invitation to a wedding, and the RSVP portion asks you to check off one of two things: chicken or fish. Well, obviously vegetarians do not want to be served chicken or fish. And people with allergies or special dietary needs also can’t eat just anything. What do you do?
A. Grumble a bunch, and then check off one or the other
B. Eschew going to the wedding altogether …
Skip the wedding? How sad would that be?
A few months ago, I wrote about how I was once a bit embarrassed about my diet. While this is definitely no longer the case, I still try not to call attention to my veganism when out with friends, family, or other non-vegans. I don’t want anyone to feel awkward, and also, sometimes it’s not all about me! Sometimes, I just don’t feel like getting into the debate, ya know? I want to talk about things other than my culinary inclinations.
In my eight years as a vegan, I’ve learned that the best way to ensure you’ll get some vegan grub, hassle-free, is to call ahead. This is a good strategy for three reasons: One, you don’t have to call attention to yourself or seem “high maintenance” when the waiter is taking orders. Two, if they can’t accommodate your diet, you have time to make different arrangements. Three, it’s courteous to give the chef a heads-up so he/she can be better prepared. Plus, you’ll probably end up with something yummier if the chef knows in advance about your diet and is therefore able to brainstorm a meal for you.
By calling ahead, for the wedding I recently attended, I was rewarded with an amazing, gourmet meal: Perfectly-grilled zucchini, eggplant, yellow squash, peppers, tomato, and portabella mushrooms drizzled with a balsamic reduction so sweet I’m still dreaming about it.
I was lucky this time. However, it’s always a good idea to have a back-up plan, just in case. My backup plan for this particular occasion was a bunch of nuts thrown into my purse, if all I was served was an iceberg salad. True, nuts and salad aren’t an ideal dinner. But I believe food isn’t the most important thing in life. What’s more important? Friends, family, and dancing all night! That, and cute party favors like these Love Beyond Measure spoons:
Cute or what?!
Are you always prepared with food in your purse?
And have you ever had a restaurant meal specially made for you?
I always carry some sort of energy bar, fruit, or nuts in my purse or backpack. My friends love me for it; when they get hungry, they know where to turn. Unfortunately, that means I have to routinely remember to restock!
I do keep food in my purse — for “emergency” use only.
I’ve never had a whole meal made specially for me — I really just need to watch my dairy intake (as in not have any or a very very small amount) — and I can do that easily with any menu. For weddings I almost always choose fish since chicken can sometimes be smothered in cheese.
What are these “famous vagina lollipops”?
Oops, lol I thought they were famous! But judging by your comment and some of the others, maybe it was just a Bryn Mawr thing. Here’s what I wrote to Tori (another commenter):
They’re just something someone made up to go along with The Vagina Monologues, I think. When schools put on that play, they make vagina lollipops. Or maybe that was just at Bryn Mawr lol (where I went, freshman year).
Vagina lollipops? What the heck? I must have missed that post! Haha!
LOL no, it’s not my recipe. They’re just something someone made up to go along with The Vagina Monologues, I think. When schools put on that play, they make vagina lollipops. Or maybe that was just at Bryn Mawr lol (where I went, freshman year).
I always have a nutrition bar handy and bring snacks with me when I go to school. When I am going to a party or what not I try to eat a nice meal/snack before I leave so I am not starving when I get home if there is nothing to eat.
During my recent trip to Disney World the chefs were nice enough to make me a special meal so I had something to eat at the resturant. They were good and hearty meals for being put together on the spot. I feel bad when I do not give them a 24 hr notice but it works out in the end.
Those measuring spoons are cute. 🙂
I’ve heard that Disney is really accommodating… that’s good to know, because I haven’t been in years and years, but I used to love that place and would love to go back!
The favorite meal anyone ever made special for me was at an inn my husband and I used to love before I went veggie. They are super gourmet, yet very meat heavy. But they made me a dish of roasted root veggies with black lentils and chestnuts baked inside a sugar pumpkin. It was vegan and beautiful. Everyone in the whole restaurant wanted one, but it wasn’t on the menu!
Another great time, I was at a wine tasting with my Dad, with just a select few (we owned a wine shop). These things are notoriously meat heavy, but the chef happened to love cooking vegetarian, so he made me a six course veggie meal. Not vegan, but really great. Everyone kept eating off my plate.
I don’t generally take food with me, just because I end up munching on it randomly instead of at meals. I end up trying to make do with whatever’s being served, just eating the veggies or something, then having something a little more satisfying when I get home.
“Everyone in the whole restaurant wanted one, but it wasn’t on the menu!”
That’s what always seems to happen to me when I get a special meal somewhere! In fact, one place in Pennsylvania now has a certain rice-and-lentil dish on their main menu because so many people wanted one after seeing mine! 🙂
I know, even at that wine tasting where they were all eating duck and foi gras, everyone started taking bites off my plate. Mine was better!
I also often take a dish to a family gathering as an offering. Even their attempts at providing options for me are usually just sweetly misguided. My stewed chickpeas, sort of Moroccan style with apricots, sun dried tomatoes and red wine, went over big at the holidays last year!
Oooh, what a nice meal! Great tips here. I’ve used them for many years as well. Having snacks stashed in your bag is definitely a MUST.
As for calling ahead, we get mixed results but mostly positive. No, canneloni stuffed with cheese is NOT vegan, thankyouverymuch. Pasta and red sauce, not exciting, but it will do. But it has also worked out marvellously. Two years ago at an elegant Thanksgiving (aka turkey) party we called ahead and ended up with a stellar meal that made everyone jealous: 7 mushroom soup (sans cream); organic fresh salad with pears, grapefruit, and onion with a lovely raspberry dressing; and the main course was something my tastebuds will never forget: curry squash, baslamic glazed portobello, marinated peppers, and the most amazing soft and flavourful red cabbage. It looked so pretty and every bite was incredible. That chef certainly knows how to impress vegans!
Usually we get somewhere in the middle. The last cruise we went on didn’t always have (interesting) options for us (boo) so we got clever and started ordering curries from the crew mess – all made with oil; yummy! (The head waiter didn’t quite understand what vegan meant, we think.)
Oh, and a Disney chef made us some sort of chocolate mousse sundae one night. It was too sweet for me (my husband loved it) but so thoughtful and creative. They also have vegan ice cream and milkshakes and cookies if you just ask for them. Mmmm…
I remember you mentioned that chocolate mousse once before. I never forgot that comment; you can be sure that if I ever go on a Disney cruise, I am insisting they make me one. Chocolate mousse = favorite food. I think I could live a long and happy life on just that :).
I don’t have problem’s at restaurants, but more so at family gatherings. When it is just my father’s side of the family getting together for a celebratory meal, I usually just bring a dish for everyone so that I can enjoy myself as well. As for when my mother and I go to Wichita to visit her family (for a number of days) I usually just bring most of my own food and have also found a nice little organic market that is near their house. It isn’t just that they eat meat up there, but a lot of the foods that they eat are process and I am pretty sure that even the best of Latin student’s couldn’t pronounce even half of the ingredients in some of them. I am usually a little embarrassed as they are always like, “so….what are YOU eating?” as if it some alien form of food. I try not to be offended by it, though.
Love your tips though- calling ahead is so underrated!
I used to work at a country club that hosted weddings all the time! I know the chefs were happy to accomodate different diets when someone called ahead of time. Sometimes they would argue over who got to do the “special” dish!
I always try to tell people that when they worry about being a nuisance to the chef if they ask for a special meal. Chefs get so bored cooking the same thing day in and day out; they’re usually happy for a challenge!
(Of course, that only holds true if you call ahead. It’s not fair to expect them to make you a special dish with no fair warning. They might not even have suitable ingredients on hand.)
I’ve found that; that some chefs are so proud of their gluten-free creations, they don’t mind at all! But I agree with you that it’s always worth calling before… I went for dinner with a group of friends the other night, without ringing in advance, and it turned out they couldn’t guarantee anything was safe for me!
I ended up with a bowl of olives for dinner which is ok, I like olives, but as I’d already picked at some on the table AND eaten a few at my friend’s house, I was all olive-d out half way through 🙁
Definitely a lesson for the future!
Eleanor
I take the same approach you do for weddings, Katie – I hope for the best and bring snacks in my purse! I’ve been to a few weddings where a special meal was arranged for me (without me requesting it, even), and had lovely food. At the last wedding I went to, I ate dry salad and french fries for dinner and that was fine, because the food just isn’t what’s important at the time.
My gma was in town and my family decided to eat at the “Club”, ie the clubhouse in their neighborhood. Nothing on the menu was vegetarian, much less vegan. I emailed the food director and the chefs actually put together a mini menu for my bf and I to select from that was vegan. I was pretty impressed. I thought they’d just put together one dish and call it a day, but they came up with 3. Not too shabby.
If I’m not sure about the food situation, I pack Larabars (though these days I’d probably just make some myself). I was at a conference last year and packed a bunch just in case the free food wasn’t veg friendly.
As a side note, when the food is vegetarian friendly, I notice they like to smother it in cheese. My bf and I discussed this the other night when he returned from training and all the “veg” food was smothered in cheese. Are caterer’s so lacking in creativity that they cannot think beyond cheese?
Honestly! And is there no other flavoring in this world aside from cheese? Last I checked, there were hundreds of spices/seasonings in this world. Why only use one?! Borrrrring!
Katie, when you’re at a party or any kind of gathering with food, and not sure what is in the dish, do you ask what are in the ingredients before you eat it? My problem is that i assume most people i know cook just about every dish with some type of animal product in it. I decided to become vegan for health reasons so i know every once in a while a small dish or two at a party won”t kill me. But i’m curiuos on how you handle this type of situation. I also bring snacks with me where ever i go (especially larabars).
Thanks for such a super blog! It’s my highlight of every morning at work!
Nicole
Hmmm… I can’t think of a situation off the top of my head where I didn’t know what the ingredients were in a certain dish or someone didn’t tell me without my asking (i.e. they made the dish special for me). With things like grilled veggies, veggie plates, fruit salad, hummus, etc, it’s easy to tell without asking. Oh wait, once I was at a party and there was some pumpkin soup. I just pretended I was very interested in the recipe and asked after her preparation. Usually people are very excited if you ask them about a recipe. (Turned out the soup was made with chicken stock, so it’s good I asked.)
Thanks for your sweet words, Nicole. 🙂
I have some of the same concerns! By now, though, my family knows and is (thankfully) willing to accommodate. My mom says “everything except the meat is vegetarian” – her clever way of saying the vegetables and side dishes don’t have meat. In less familiar situations, though, I sometimes ask if there’s chicken stock in the soup, etc. I agree with Katie – people will be happy to tell you what’s in their dishes and generally helpful.